...just thinking aloud

On Travels

2008-02-20T23:10:00.004+08:00

When coworkers upload their travel pics to Multiply or Flicker, I can't help but to look at their adventures with so much envy. I wish I was there, too! Scanning the wildlife that abound on that tiny island; feeling the foam of the ocean on my legs as I watch the sun melt in the horizon; wrapping my toes to the silky grains of the sand while I rest my body for a quick nap; dipping my body to the icy cool water; waking up to the freezing morning atop the conquered mountain... or simply the one who was making faces while the camera captures the moment.

I've yearned to be the Adventurous Joe but somehow, constraints of some sort always held me back. Quite the pragmatic, money has always been an issue. It's too costly or it's not within the budget or...

the justification won't end!

...not to mention, your travel companion must at least be likable for a day or else that planned out-of-town will end with so much bickering. Imagine spending the whole time with a friend who constantly nag about mosquitoes and every five minute or so will ask "are we there yet?" Talk about Donkey on Shrek!

Now, I became the unnamed observer of the bustling life of other people. The proverbial life is passing right before my eyes seemed quite true. As I wallow on my inactivity, a couple of people I knew went to a four day island hopping; as I sat in front of the TV watching a rerun, friends will tell me how much they enjoyed their time discovering this awesome getaway; while I was there thinking about my existence, some people actually add meaning into their existence by living it up.

Asking them how much it cost seemed a futile attempt to rationalize if the benefits outweighed the money they shelled out. Asking them if they had fun is really a rhetorical question; based on their photos...yep they truly did!

Summer is peeking over the window and I could already hear plans for out-of-town getaway. In as much as I want to pack up my bags and enjoy a memorable weekend, I know that I will just be staring far beyond and wish that I could.

And when I close my eyes, I do wonder if I, too, can scale that jagged mountain or swim with the company of fishes or press my toes on that warm sand or watch the sun burst across the ocean.

I can only wonder...

A Little Patch of Green in Makati

2007-11-05T15:48:00.000+08:00

Washington Sycip Park

"In the nearly six decaded that I have been advisor to companies operating in both the developed and developing countries, I can say with confidence that westernstyle democracy may not be a workable proposition in the absence of a developed westernstyle economy! For most of us who have lived all our lives in a developing economy, it is easy to understand why. But for those who have spent their entire lives in a developed nation, it is difficult to understand why not."

On Being 25

2007-08-31T14:37:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, the quarter century club will finally accept me as one of their own, at least for one year membership, I suppose. Yeah, yeah! I will be 25 this September 1 and in as much as I want to cry my hearts out and beg the heavens to postpone the aging process, getting older is inevitable.

Being 24 was quite a bumpy ride, albeit, a very memorable ride; I changed two jobs since and thank God I made the right decision once I left my previous posts. Also, a very close friend left the country for good and up until now, his presence is deeply missed. Love, aaah! Love did flourish. I found someone I can truly say I am very happy with. With full confidence, I am hoping that she’s the one. Also, I have met lots of people that I haven’t had a clue existed before. Most of them are nice but a bunch, to put it mildly, is already on my list of ‘who to avoid”.

Although, I have a pretty clear expectation when I was still a wiry sixteen years old about me rolling this age, nevertheless, reality ensue. I thought that I will have the uber good body I longed for but that good-for-nothing genes come into the way. My tummy, I believe, was program to jut out…darn it!

Career wise, well… just a little off-tangent to what I was envisioning before. I still have insecurities about not having a title and now planning to take the giant leap to take the board exam, which, I hope, not a giant leap for a humbling stumble.

Anyway, I recognize though that for a country folk like moi, I was given the chance to swim alongside the big fishes of the city and I realize that they too have insecurities and fears like most screw ups. If the guards are down, true humanity with all its failings and weaknesses do emerge.

All in all, however, I think I did a little of growing up. I expect lesser now and most of the time, just shrugging my shoulders to what others may consider essential. Success and happiness is relative. I have seen much poorer folks that can outshine Bill Gates if contentment should be given a much higher weight. Would it be a much happier world should the comparison of have’s and have-not’s be left across the borderline of childhood and puberty? That way, every person entering the GrownUp Ville will not equate superiority with financial success, physical attributes or the new H3 parked across the street. But I digress…

Now, I rummage through the chaos within my brain the priorities that I should not miss as I embark the quarter century mark: Faith in God, great relationship with the parentals and the sibs, and finding true and lasting friendship from the swarm of leeches—in that absolute order.

Why! Oh! Why! You might say, well, here goes:

Faith in God and a good relationship with Him is the only lasting relationship everyone should know about. That will outlast even the ring you brought from Tiffany’s.

Having a good bond with your Fam will do you favor should you screw up big time. Who on earth would put up with you but the one who were there from the beginning…am I right or am I right?

Finding a satisfying relationship with anyone not connected with your family tree is like hoping to find the face of Michael Jackson in a 100 dollar bill (I know the association sucks). Someone sent me a message that clearly illustrates this one: “If someone wants to be a part of your life…they will make an effort to be in it.” From my vantage point of being 24, I know that not many people will go beyond themselves for a proverbial friend. If you happen to stumble to just one good friend in your lifetime, just make it sure that he knows how important he is. Many of us often overlook the value of true friendships.

So, as I bade my farewell to my ol’ pal the number 24, I must not forget the lessons I’ve learned while traversing this familiar road, and from the challenges below, I should not let my vision waver to the summit on which I was made to conquer.

25…here I go!

Wishin' You a Great Day

2007-08-08T10:10:00.000+08:00

Today, I wish you a day of ordinary miracles...

fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...

An unexpected phone call from an old friend...

Green traffic lights on your way to work...

The fastest line at the grocery store...

A good sing-along song on the radio...

Your keys right where you left them.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Filipino Style Transformers

2007-07-25T10:07:00.001+08:00

strICEsCREAM

megaTRIKE

frenZIKAD

bumbleJEEP

barriCART

optiBUSprime

From the Desk of the Infuriated Jef

2007-07-23T14:22:00.000+08:00

To The Arrogant Fresh Grad in the Office

This is just an unsolicited advice, OK! If you think your three month training in one of the prestigious auditing firm in the country makes you a far better and more qualified employee than the rest of the peeps, then think again kiddo.

I don't like you bad mouthing the hand that feeds you. If you believe that your level is above the company's standard and that you are paid far below what you can earn outside, then my friend, the door is wide open.

Please! Prove yourself first before you sanctimoniously preach about how Company A or Company B provide a much more salary competition than what you are receiving. You always think about how much money you can earn with the CPA attached to your name. Although, I have the faintest idea that what you're really after is --money. Be careful, that kind of thinking will sap your soul empty.

Invest in experience first my dear diaper trained friend. Those three months you have mentioned meant absolutely nothing. That's just a walk in the park for crying out loud.

So the next time you complain about how much they are underutilizing you, feel free to go. And by the way, the company you were referring to have the following for your taking:

* Night Shift
* Work -- Toxic level

So...take the plunge, eh!

What I Have Learned

2007-07-18T11:21:00.000+08:00

... the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

... when you're in love, it shows.

... just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

... having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

... being kind is more important than being right.

... you should never say no to a gift from a child.

... I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

... no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

... sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

... simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

... life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

... we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

... money doesn't buy class.

... it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

... under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

... the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

... to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

... when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

... love, not time, heals all wounds.

... the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

... everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

... there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

... no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

... life is tough, but I'm tougher.

... opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

... when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

... I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

... one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

... a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

... I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

... when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

... everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

... it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

... the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

-- By Andy Rooney

From the Desk of the Infuriated Jef

2007-07-16T12:13:00.000+08:00

To my housemate who lives downstairs:

If you think you own the whole house because you like to be the Mr.Lonely-Man-On-The-Verge-of-Psychosis, then think again weirdo. We DON'T like you...at all! that means, it's US against YOU! I might have liked you before because I thought you are a sensitive soul (just plain weirdo that's all) but you are a backstabbing jerk who made diatribes about your broken umbrella.

Yes! we try our best to make a contribution like making the house clean, if you have the faintest idea what that means. Educated people clean their plates after using it and we don't dumped them in a pail and wait for Santa Clause to clean them up [insert no formal house training]

And Oh! the plastic cover we dabbed on our window (with my OWN money spent) has a pretty particular reason why it was there. You ripping it off is simply insulting. As an Engineer, you surely know what dust cement can do to our lungs and yet with your intelligence compromise, you never think twice removing that dust shield we painstakingly mounted.

The infuriating thing was you have the nerves to ask why the lobby stinks! That's the cat's poop you noodle face, one of the reasons we covered the window. But you know what, the fun starts now because you aggravated the one who had just recovered from lung infections...and he got friends hahaha!

Of Coffee Cups and Goodbyes

2007-06-04T17:11:00.000+08:00

“I guess our journeys are just a part of growing up and finding our own way through this world. I wish this world was smaller sometimes though… but it’s not, so I’ll continue to find my way as will you and one day we’ll wake up and wonder where the time went. That’s when I’ll call you and ask for the answer because you always have good answers to tough questions.”

I saved this text message almost two years ago. He sent it when I too, was deeply searching for my own worth. I was just surprised lately how it aptly describes every young man who is searching for a better meaning in life. Unknowingly, this has been a predictive course on which he will later trail two years after.

On a Thursday afternoon, he sent me an SMS message that he is going back to the US for good. He feels that it’s now time to move on and search for his true calling, to broaden his perspective and find better opportunities back home.

Over a cup of coffee, we engaged in a meaningful tête-à-tête. Living here, as he mentioned, has been the best of both worlds. Indeed, he experienced living on both ends of the social spectrum: from being a social worker in an orphanage in Tarlac to a Project Manager in Makati; from communing with the poorest of the poor to brushing elbows with the elite. In two years time, he had more cultural experience to share than what an average Filipino can do in a lifetime.

We talk about our plans, about a foggy future that is best left to the imagination; about misty dreams and unseen challenges up ahead. I can sense that he’s quite apprehensive of the unknown and yet, deeply excited to carve a new path he would later thread.

The horizon is not yet defined, neither, the path is fully paved. But he has a strong heart and an athlete’s determination to be a victor in whatever circumstances that may come.

As we talk, I only realized that this maybe the last time we will have these unguarded moments where we discuss about our dreams, plans…future. When we babble our wishes without the fear of being judged, uttering hopes with the fullest confidence that it might come true and when two men, of separate backgrounds and ethnicity, transcends social demarcation.

Saying goodbye always entails difficulty far beyond measure. Nevertheless, I am confident that somewhere in the fabric of fate, our paths will cross again.

To you bud, saying that I am going to miss you is an understatement. The lessons I have learned from you cannot be marred by time or distance but will always remain an essential ingredient of my past. When I was traveling on my own, you came along.

A day will come when we will wake up and wonder where the time went, however, it’s not me who’s going to answer that…it will be you!

Change

2007-05-25T08:52:00.000+08:00

I was walking along a familiar path back in the province, tracing roads that lead to memorable places I once thread when I was little. To my surprise, it seems that everything I previously consider eternal now slowly fades every day. The big mossy wall doesn’t seemed too tall, the rocky roads doesn’t appeared intimidating anymore and the trees that once jutted beyond my sight seemed reachable now.

Although, the landscape changed with few houses sprouting just everywhere, no doubt that the old feeling of being home is still there.

People, Yes! People, too, changed. My parents, for instance, my fortress when I was a child now a caricature of the strong people they once were—arching backs, slow steps and wrinkled faces; these are now the markings they have traded with Father Time.

Childhood friends also have grown to the adults I barely knew…mature individuals who are now raising kids of their own. Or the little tykes running in the streets before bear no resemblance of the innocence they once have. The teacher with growing smiles took the toll of disciplining rowdy kids by her imminent graying locks.

Yes! Time works its way to get paid.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, however, the child in me fights over to what it sees—growing mustache, prominent brow…stronger jaw lines.

Deep inside, I’m still that awkward little kid, insecure in so many levels and mostly lost in my own little world but my reflection betrays me by presenting the years of experience I have earned. What I see is the man whom I am becoming.

In as much as I would like to hold on to what I sincerely believe is important, time dictates that I should move beyond innocence and face reality as it is.

Maybe that’s how life works, to evolve, to improve, to change…albeit for the better. Each stage, nevertheless, is an offshoot for the next.

As I turned around that familiar path, my heart ached because I know that I cannot fight change. While time is molding me to be the person I should be, it also carries with it memories that I must learn to let go.

And by letting it go, change will now take its course.

So who won?

2007-05-16T08:29:00.000+08:00

In as much as I want to shrug politics out of my system...in as much as I want to digress my thoughts from the ever darkening situation in this country, a much bigger part of me cares. I am a Filipino. It's in my blood, Its in my soul. This is the chosen Nation where God have conspired for me to live. I must care!

As the 2007 election march in the drumbeat of political noise, I have come to wonder--who will greatly benefit from this "exercise of freedom: The answer is pretty obvious: Not US!

It is known that the biggest chunk of the voters belongs to the bottom part of our economic ladder. Uneducated and naive to put it bluntly but victims nonetheless. For a brief satisfaction to their grumbling stomachs or for the momentary relief of medicine to their sick, they cave in to the whims of those who can provide the quickest solution… not realizing that they perpetuate the robbery of resources and services which are due them.

If you come to think of it, those scums of the earth, whom we charmingly called Public Officials, desire for this status quo—to preserve whatever agenda they have i.e. they signed the automation of election on the last minute, dilly dally laws that might actually help our economic recovery and prolonged nonsense political bickering.

Senatorial candidates, whom I believe, has the best intentions for this nation trail in last while those who propagate dissentions finished first. This mirrors our degrading perception of right and wrong. Our moral structure is now deeply skewed by decades of deceit and injustice.

We should now realize that we, the people, are always on the loosing end. We suffer the most blows.

Gotta work for now, they need my tax money to reimburse whatever cost they incurred during the campaign period.

***sigh***

life in the city...a snapshots

2007-05-06T18:59:00.000+08:00

On Being Single

2007-04-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

I ordered a chicken burger from the counter.

I paid.

I sat in the corner and ate in silence as I watch other people come and go. In my mind, I mused if there’s a good movie out right now...or a sale at a bookstore nearby. The gym is closed so that’s out of the picture…window shopping? Naah!...now what…go home again and read!

Sigh!

That’s a life of a single in a couple’s world. Not that I am complaining or anything but it has a downside sometimes.

A woman friend said to me once, “Why can’t many women chase good guys like you? Instead they settle in for a jerk and let their hearts bleed.”

I laughed when she said I am good guy. But she seems so serious that I have to answer.

“The reason is I am not looking…probably when I was in the crossroad with someone searching, I opted the road less traveled.” I said bluntly.

She seemed satisfied but still wants a clearer explanation for my being single.

“Well…I believe that building a relationship needs proper timing. I cannot give what I don’t have; I can’t complete her… and I am certain that I am no knight in shining armor. I really have to find myself first before tagging someone along…”

We walked in silence and departed ways after that.

-ooo-

In hindsight, I knew I am making the right decision for now. I am not closing any door or stomp any flicker of hope.

I maybe loss in the sea of faces or my life seemed so trivial (or funny) to some but being single in a couples world is not the end result of a careless plan but of a very deliberate and careful choice.

I have a life waiting to unfold…a blank canvass ready to be painted.

My adventure still awaits.

Testament

2007-04-02T10:29:00.000+08:00

April 5, 1995—a day that will always spark a not so distant memory…a memory that I could hardly remember but so real and concrete when I close my eyes.

How funny it is to realize that for many, any given day is just but a setting and rising of the sun, with mediocre monotony in between…but to some, like that given day, a life was changed.

---

On a very lazy afternoon, my eldest bro and I were watching an ordinary movie on HBO when we heard someone in the doorstep. A medium built guy on white shirt and blue jeans was just asking if we know these people.

My brother said “Yes!”

And one of the most frightening words came out from his mouth:

“Your two brothers and your sister were hit by a jeepney on their way home!”

At age 12, I was deeply aware that someone just poured a very cold water in my soul. My world literally stopped. Until now, I didn’t know how I managed to tell Mom that her three kids just met an accident.

I remember that I went inside our room and looked into the mirror. My lips were corpse white and tears were just welling up in my eyes. Just then a flood of memory came rushing in from that morning…all the laughter’s and teasing…that one single moment, frozen in time, when I bade my farewell to my three siblings as they mount to the motorcycle for a short visit to our relative.

---

It’s a whirlwind of confusion; a world of utter dissonance. From what I have initially heard at that time and later confirmed, my sister suffered the most. Her left leg was badly mangled and she lost considerable amount of blood. My kid bro, who was only four at that time, was also had his left leg fractured. Thank Heavens my elder brother, the one driving the motorcycle, came off unscathed.

Witnesses accounted that the jeepney which hit my siblings was trying to overtake another car in a very alarming speed. My brother was driving in the motorcycle lane and was unaware of the drama that was unfolding at their back.

Carelessness maybe, or a simple but fatal overlook, the reckless driver swiftly side swept my siblings, with them being thrown and scattered across the highway.

---

The hospital in our province cannot manage the trauma my sister and my kid bro suffered and suggested that we must bring them instead to Manila—an eight hour ride from home.

To a 12 year old at that time, these were all too much to bear. When nobody is watching, I caved in to the corner and cry my hearts out.

Later that week, I was told by my father that my sister was in serious jeopardy—she was in dire need of blood or else she would die. As if fate haven’t had enough, we have come to know that her blood was quite rare; statistics show that only 10% of the population has that kind of blood…and time was definitely running out.

---

A fighter from the start, my father never flinched to fight for her daughter’s life. She needed blood and that what he’s going to look for whatever it takes.

He went to and fro his family circle, went to different agencies that might help, to close friends…and finally, when hope was at its lowest, he found a Belgian missionary.

Apart from the medical crisis we were having, medical bills were also soaring. As the only sole breadwinner, a mere teacher at that, my Dad was his wit’s end.

---

Days and months slowly followed and somehow, when the night was its darkest and the way too steep, we stand in awe as this particular chapter was finally closing.

All along, when I thought that God had abandoned us, He managed to give a part of Himself to those unnamed and faceless people who had helped; people we hardly knew and expected came to share their support, their prayers and their finances.

What has been a long via dolorosa, I later came to realized, that God was and is with us. He shared the burden; he worked in silent ways and embraced our hearts that indeed, He is in control.

---

12 years later, the scar of that fateful day had its permanence to my sister’s left leg. But she finished her college degree and became a CPA. She now works in Dubai with my two elder brothers. My kid bro, from a four year old fighting for his chance to live a normal life, now is in college fighting to pass every subject…and from whom I have heard has already a girlfriend.

Life for a believer has never been easy; we are constantly tested for our faith. What has been different now was HOW we handle the test of life. We know for a certainty that there is a God we can count on. A Beacon of light placed upon the sea of challenges and the howling winds of unbelief.

Amidst the storms of life…His light shines!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank You, Lord Jesus, for the gift of Salvation. Have a meaningful Holy Week, Everyone!

Brain Crumbs

2007-03-10T11:05:00.000+08:00

So…it’s been a while huh!

I tried, I really do…but my banal attempt to pour out thoughts into words became a task rather than a fluid pouring of emotional release. Whoooh! That’s a mouthful but you certainly know what I mean.

The fact is I encountered glitches…hmmm…problems with work …and life in general that I dare not post for legal reasons hehe!

This past weeks has been a battle of the will and gut.

I guess for us “mere” employees, it is pretty impossible not to have been subjected by the scrutiny of a boss.

Let me put this in plain, simple English, eh… I DON’T LIKE MY BOSS!

There I said it.

I told you before how hard I’m still coping with the peculiarities of my job…well, not just me but the whole team who happens to be all newbies! Admittedly, we committed irreversible errors which has been escalated globally (meaning, our top division head abroad knew it) and from thereon, our team lead eventually changes into this proverbial “bitch” who nit pick every minor issues we committed. What has become of a very normal work turned into a burden for fear that our moment has come to be frazzled and frayed by the snow queen.

There’s learning to this though, we became more vigilant and very, very detailed on our work but the enthusiasm, I believe, just withered…

I really don’t like to sound like a saint here and I do admit that I’m still groping in the dark but my boss just doesn’t know how to motivate her people. Instead of pushing us to our potential, she talks about quitting. Instead of giving us hope to hold on, she talks about how incompetent and disappointing we were. With an arch eyebrow and a high pitched tone, the queen reigns.

It’s true, although money matters and the prestige of the job is nonetheless something to be proud of, sometimes, a satisfying job comes from the good relationship you have with your colleagues.

The only consolation I can think of right now was the training I had and still undergoing. Nobody could take that away from me, not even HER!

I’m considering of moving on, try another...but quitting is not an option…not now.

In hindsight, there will always be learning behind every trial and who knows…she and I might get along and be friends someday.

But now…I dreaded Monday!

A Valentine Repost

2007-02-14T03:11:00.000+08:00

The hardest and saddest part of loving someone is watching her fall for someone else …and realized that she can never be yours.

The hardest still is you’ve finally resolved that she’s better off with him.

I admit that I love her in a distance.

…constantly wondering of that possibility of holding her hands and knowing her intimate details. Oh! I know every bit of her, from the way she laughs, her dancing eyelashes, her cursive smiles, her imposing eyes and her scent that made me forget that I’m still on earth. Believing that one distant day, she will look at me the way I always looked at her.

She became my resort when I feel so lost. My guidepost when all the life’s street signs got mixed up. My shining star when dark clouds covered my only piece of sky…and my motivation to keep pressing forward because of that thought that the best is yet to come.

I am forever be thankful that I met her…because of her presence I discovered how much I am capable to give love; how much I can give my everything and still have something left to give; of believing that a love that is so pure can transcends all logic, even how illogical it may seem.

…and yet wished that it’s far better if I haven’t met her at all.

She’s so near yet I feel that a thousand oceans and a million mornings’ divide us; an immense separation that only a hopeless romantic could believe that it can be linked.

…and yet I am a hopeless romantic.

The last time we’ve been together was the time I’ve met him. A very cool guy with an air of intellectual superiority and yet humble enough to shine a warm smile at me…and I noticed that she was never been happier …I know then that my presence in her life is slowly diminishing.
As they talked, I stepped back and cherished my last moments with her. Looking at her intently at the sideline and memorizing how she looks like, when finally her own resort, guidepost, star and motivator was there.

…and yes! I will still love her in a distance.

Weekend Musing

2007-02-10T02:53:00.000+08:00

I've had it with these called "politicians."

Many of you have already watched on the boobtube how low they can get with their political ads. 30 seconds of gut wrenching and vomit inducing torture. UGH! They may sugar coat the issues and present themselves as the proclaimed Messiah of this nation but one thing remains unfaltered--they all have personal agenda which must push through even when hell breaks loose. I really don't separate now a traditional politician from that of a newbie…they all look and act alike, so what's there to distinguish anyway; they were all patterned from the same dirty old linen.

And the current trend of having entertainment clowns to join the political theatrics is nonetheless disgusting. What do they know about legislations and the legalities, not to mention complexities of passing a bill? If they have pure intentions of serving, backing out is one hell of a help. Since when did the virtue of starting out from the bottom became obsolete eh! In every field of career, you really need to start from square one to familiarize yourself with the trade. No one will be an effective accountant or an engineer by sheer whim.

Time and again, these thespians have proven nothing (save for some who really did well) but come on, would you want to be represented by a veneer, a façade of characters in silver screen? That's the problem with many Filipinos, they cannot separate the character these people were portraying and when time comes that these artist cum politician proves to be just an occupying space, they become disillusioned because these Knights in Shining Armor are nothing but eggheads.

Hay naku! Naturalmente, this nation is in deep shit. Some of you might consider me a bigot and judgmental but it's a fact, most voters are STUPID who doesn't know their right from their left, a mob whose into quick fix solutions and cannot even discern that they were being eaten alive by the most corrupt elements of the society

I asked myself…would my vote really matter?

The Shrink

2007-01-31T04:34:00.000+08:00

I was tagged by Carey and here it goes:

5 Things That Happened Because of Blogging

1. Blogging is my Shrink. Like many guys out there, it's very therapeutic in the sense that I can release fed up feelings, rant things I really can't say out loud and provide an avenue for my mind to wander. After all, we are still humans who desire to be heard.

2. I have met and known great people through blogging. Unlike MySpace or Friendster which basically flaunts physical characteristics and glorify beauty above all else, blogging twists the common thread by being an outlet for people who wants to tear down superficiality. Who cares if you have nose like a pug or a leg the size of an SUV. What matters is “Do you have something to say?” and what you say in here (maybe insignificant to some) really matter!

3. It is by writing that I allow my soul to pour out and travel the world without restriction. This is actually the craft that I rarely expect to come out from me. An ignorant of the English language since time in memoriam, who just happened to be persistent by speaking and writing crooked English (thanks to my Dad who pushed me to do it) and lo! My literature professor actually thinks that I can write. Hmm, the power of my charm hehe! Seriously though, I love having to write something…create stories from the bowels of my mixed up mind and being understood later. That’s I think is the power of the pen—or keyboard, technically speaking.

4. I love to read. I dunno about you guys but I bet that most of the bloggers salivate every time they see words together that perfectly fits a coherent idea. I always have the “AHA” moment when I read entries from my fellow bloggers. Man, you guys are good in presenting ordinary moments in a new light add up the humor, above average wit and sarcasm and encouraging words of wisdom—there you go, blogging at its best.

5. Lastly, by being true to myself, I unknowingly touch someone else’s life. We share the same experiences to a certain degree and it feels good to know that I am being understood without the fear of being judged. It is a consoling fact also that I am not alone in this adventure and some have the same obstacle or road block that I currently experience.

When I was in the crossroad, you guys offered company.

Hand in my heart: THANKS!

---------------

Funny Joke:

I’m not a dinosaur…I’m not, I’M NOT

-Thesaurus

Randomness

2007-01-24T03:27:00.000+08:00

"How's work?"

"Doing good!"

"How's your Christmas and New Year back in the province?

"It was great. I had fun with my fam!"

"Uhuh"
-
-
-
-
-
*silence*
-
-
-
-
-
"Man, his voice is annoying" Pointing to a guy who hollers beside a jeepney.

"It's like he's in helium"

*mild chuckle*
-
-
-
-
-
*silence*
-
-
-
-
-
It's funny that we have no more things to say to each other. What remained is an awful one liner question and answer which only prompts a mediocre response.

Before, we talk (or I talk) a mile an hour and blurt out anything that prompts our tiny neurons. No awkward moments like from above.

I know that we are still friends but as our meeting became rarer and rarer, I feel that we are loosing whatever connection we had.

I hope not. Sayang naman!

------------

Funny Text Messages:

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back! How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your tootbrush.

--------

Thought from Gary Lising:

When I die, I want to die like my lolo--who died peacefully in his sleep; not screaming like all the passengers in the bus he was driving!

Favorite Moments

2007-01-17T04:48:00.000+08:00

1. Gentle breeze that silently cover your body after a satisfying hot bath.

2. A good and simple conversation with a buddy over a cup of steaming coffee.

3. Reading an engrossing book while everybody is asleep.

4. Smell of freshly baked breads wafting in the air.

5. Silent purr of my cat while he sleeps on my chest.

6. Watching the glory of the sunrise.

7. Stone skimming.

8. Watching my parents talk and laugh.

9. An unexpected text message (or an email) from a long lost friend.

10. A long, silent walk from a long day.

11. Gentle falling of leaves.

12. The light reflecting on a glass painting inside a cathedral.

13. Baby's unconditional smile.

14. Scent of freshly washed clothes.

15. The moons blue light kissing a starless night.

16. Waking up and hearing mild laughters during the morning.

17. Walking beside the isle of fresh fruits in the mall.

18. Christmas--everything about it.

19. An unsolicited smile from my crush.

20. Soft scent of a baby powder.

21. When the light turns green on a heavy traffic.

22. Sincere hug.

23. Rain puddles.

24. Bright, cauliflower clouds that slowly drifts across a pale blue sky.

25. Every 15th and 30th--paycheck time ***hehehe***

Those Darn Codes

2007-01-12T03:28:00.000+08:00

“Kindly check if they already did the GR!”

“The parked documents should be removed as they will clear the OCR this week.”

“You should ask the buyer to increase the PO and put an X mark on the payment tab!”

“By next week, we should have done the MRBR.”

“Look in the MIR4, you will find what you’re looking for”

“FK03, M23N, FBLIN, ZOCR08…….”

WHATEVER

I don’t know if I am too stupid to learn all these stuffs because oh boy, I’m as lost as a kid who went to New York alone. This new job that I’ve been praying for all these time gives me a shock. I MUST be familiar with all those darn codes…codes that are quite a catch to memorize given the fact that it makes no sense.

You see, I’m those people who must know the WHY first before I can fully grasp its whole meaning. My method of learning since I was kid was to have the bird’s eye view…apart from that, I literally sweat out nerves. They just tell me that I must use this and that but were too busy to explain the rationale behind.

I love the challenge though but it seems that my superiors expect me to know all these stuffs…NOW!!

HELLOOOOO Give the new guy a bloody break!

I’m sorry for ranting but I think I will have a nervous breakdown. The guy that I replaced went to the Netherlands to train and he left me six months of pending invoices not to mention that I have current workload to juggle. I’m barely a month in this job but I feel I’ve aged since.

Oh, well! I asked for it , didn’t I?

------

BLOG BUDDIES: Just in case I wasn’t able to post regularly or visit your own blogs, still, THANK YOU for you who have dropped their bread crumbs behind and continually checks if I’m still in existence.

You always make my day.

They think they knew...

2007-01-04T04:04:00.000+08:00

Many self-proclaimed prophets are going to have (or having) their 15 minutes of fame during the first part of this month with all their blah blah’s about what’s going to happen for the rest of the year.

For instance, they will cite that a starlet will have an affair with actor Y and that Actor X will sire a child. I watched with disdain and have thought, "to what planet did I come from that I’m going to care about the carnal affairs of celebrities. " NEXT!

Or, they will predict that:

1. Strong storms will visit the archipelago (major DUH)

2. Earthquakes, too (Hellooo, we’re in the Pacific Ring of Fire)

3. Fire will broke (gimme a friggin’ break)

4. A prominent official will be ousted (Da who, La Gloria? fresh news eh!)

5. A celebrity couple will split (again, who cares)

The Election will continue despite opposition (to which again I don’t care and to which I think is pretty much obvious)

What I’m waiting for these blabber mouths is to state the SPECIFIC name, actual casualties, the degree and latitude of its location and when will it happen.

To counteract any skeptics and the proliferation of an ounce of intelligence, they would declare that “God will ultimately decide.” BUT OF COURSE you bunch of dolts!

Personally, I consider all these trash talk irrelevant. The likes of Madam Auring and her minions are the reason Senator Jingoy Estrada or Lito Lapid can make movies and join the senate.

Happy 2007

2006-12-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

Lots of stuff happened this year that I dare not mentioned. Well, not everything was bad, was it? There will always be a one or two in every ten that speaks of about hope or joy—maybe a triumphant battle with personal challenges or a birth of a new member of the family or finding a new job. But whatever it is, we all have managed to survive 2006 with a bang!

With all that’s been said and done, a new year is in the offing, offering a clean slate of becoming. I would like to hope that 2007 will be a much better year, less trouble of course. But thinking ahead, a life with fewer challenges will only bring drudgery and boredom. What makes a life worthy of living is surpassing every difficulty and finding small triumphs amidst the petty troubles.

A man once observed that he can’t fully enjoy his present because of his constant guilt of the past and his fear of the future.

This 2007, let’s affirm to ourselves the old year is gone—far beyond retrieval. If someone wronged us or maliciously spread rumors or hurt us in so many levels, well, let’s hope that fungus will start growing on their skin ***kidding of course*** seriously though, I know we all felt betrayed or hurt one time or another by people or events, but these are BAGGAGES of a past that won’t hurt us anymore. Let’s shut the lid close, bury it six feet under, and shred it into oblivion.

The sun will rise again for a new set of a 365 day; with our hands fully open, let’s embrace the New Year with greater optimism.

Happy 2007 Everyone!

Christmas '06

2006-12-23T16:06:00.000+08:00

I admit, I am a Christmas person.

Memories will silently creep inside my head every time I hear carols. The soft, cold breeze that gently awaken my senses floods these Christmas pasts with powerful reckoning that for a few seconds, I was in a world where I was surrounded by my family and friends. A glimpse of what I consider an eternity.

Apart from the heightened commercialism of this season, no one can vouch against the idea that what makes Christmas a special day is the gathering of family, of bridging together differences and divisions on which for a single day every year, people seemed to be more compassionate, much kinder and not to mention, much, much more tolerable.

Nevertheless, we should remember also that many of us at this time will spend it on their own. Maybe a mother who is a nurse in the US, an engineer who’s a Dad in Saudi Arabia, a homesick breadwinner in Japan, or an elderly parent living alone inside a Home. There are people who will give everything just to experience just one simple moment with their love ones.

Be thankful for every Christmas that you will still see those whom you consider Family because these are the gifts that money cannot buy.

~o-o-o~

May the greetings we speak, the cards we send, the gifts we give, be motivated by our love for Jesus, after all, He is the real reason for the season.

~o-o-o~

Have a Merry and Blessed Christmas, Everyone!

I saw...

2006-12-16T05:21:00.000+08:00

I saw a woman limping but still peddling her goods on a very busy avenue.

I saw a little girl drenched after an hour of rain selling flowers to every people she meet.

I saw a young boy, barely young to be left alone in the street, sleeping on the steps of a train station.

I saw a couple with their young kids eating on a single plate.

And then…

I saw a group of young people all dressed up for a night in a bar.

I saw a guy parked his car and lit a cigarette while waiting for someone.

I saw a very attractive lady holding bags from a night of shopping spree

I saw me complaining sometimes that my life sucks.

PERSPECTIVE—we need it all the time!

Have a meaningful weekend ahead!

Apathy

2006-12-13T02:15:00.000+08:00

I hate Christmas parties.

Since my elementary days, I have come to loathe the overbearing process of having an overly insensitive quasi celebration of a religious holiday. It doesn’t even have the slightest sense that “Christ” who is the main reason for the celebration was there

Call me a twerp or whatever but the whole point of preparing for a dance number or sweating out a highly mediocre presentation is for me, utterly senseless.

Like in my new job, my coworkers prepared this elaborate “Phantom of the Opera” themed production for a week. The maximum time my eyes have to endure watching it is more or less five minutes—F-I-V-E freakin’ minutes. After the clapping of the hands liken to a deranged sea lion and the voices and cheers died down---then what—NOTHING! No lasting significance but a blimp of catatonic moment wrapped in semi-unconscious drudgery.

OK, ok, ok! I know some of you will spit vitriol at me for being the big Grinch of this so called Yuletide Season but until I will see a single meaning of this boisterous celebration, of a festivity devoid of significance because of its overwhelming commercialism…then I will just sit in the corner wondering if I added fabric conditioner to my laundry.

Just an update

2006-12-08T02:20:00.000+08:00

I’m sorry for the late update; I thought that I can squeeze my time a couple of days ago but my new job is well…pretty much occupied my time.

As an Account Payable Invoice Administrator, one of my tasks is to verify each invoices made by our supplier or vendor and certify if the obligation to pay still stands and to where it will be remitted to. After all the verification comes the posting to our records using SAP (Systems Application and Products in data processing) and the final stage is the reporting which I will still be trained in the weeks to come. It’s a tedious job—a very tedious one… but as LIW pointed out perfectly in his earlier posts, Humans are creatures of habits; I am confident that in no time, I will absorb the overall system.

OK, enough of this! Shifting to the more relevant issues, I have learned that the Congress already approved the Constitutional Assembly rather too hastily. Here’s my two cents, I DON’T CARE. I have come to realize that this country’s main problem are not the politicians or the eternal curse of calamities and its company; what we lack as a nation contained in just a single word—DISCIPLINE. Of having to do what is right despite the lack of authority. If we as individual dutifully follow simple virtues like compassion, honesty, courtesy…without having to think twice about it (or simply stated, imbibed as a HABIT) then a great transformation will sweep this land from home to community and to society.

That’s just me thinking out loud…

Anyhoo, I believe everyone knows already about the Albay tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are to the victims and their families. Such loss is incomprehensible and I really cannot add words that will simply suffice the suffering of our fellow kababayans. If only the situations can be reversed instead with those people whose hearts are darkened with greed and corruptions, those who satisfyingly took advantage of the feeble and frail and those who lust to power and glory. Sayang!

In God’s perfect justice and time…everyone will be measured according to his deeds!

snapshots

2006-12-02T08:04:00.000+08:00

Yes! I did have a great time. I'm back fully recharged!

Most photos were taken within the perimeter of our home. If you will look far beyond the obvious, indeed, sparks of our Creator thrive in all His creations.

~~oo~~

After you have exhausted what there is in business, politics, conviviality, and so on - have found that none of these finally satisfy, or permanently wear - what remains? Nature remains. -Walt Whitman

Have a great weekend!

Signing Out

2006-11-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

I will be signing out for a few days...

Going back to the province and recharge my batteries before facing tougher challenges.

Sunset at Manila Bay
simply breathtaking

Random Thoughts

2006-11-24T11:31:00.000+08:00

---

I just realized nowadays how we as a country lack the self confidence and the gritty grit determination to build our own ventures. We tend to go with the flow and settled to be a "mere" employee. With hard work, we climb the ladder, one rung after another. The prospect of receiving a Social Security benefits or a Government backed-up Insurance is enough to get us by and last a grueling 40 years sitting in an office cubicle. That's when during the last decade of our productive years, we visualize Emerson's observation of “Living a life of quiet desperation." Our strengths waned but our desires still soar ...but it's too late.

China proves true with their entreprenual capability. The sleeping giant finally awakes with a roar while we became a perennial Chihuahua.

---

Money is indeed relative to those who are using it; either you use your money as a tool or money uses you. An analyst pointed out that if the Nation will give each citizen a million dollar as a gift, one year after, he predicts that the rich will be richer two folds and the poor will still be poorer. The rich people will know how to use their money by investing that million dollar grant to propagate their wealth but the poorer sector will think exponentially on how they are going to spend that million bucks to satisfy their wants.

---

I have to say that I am proud of what Manny Pacquiao did to uplift or boost our confidence as a nation but I think that the only person who is 150 million richer is him. The last time I checked, many are still hungry and jobless. Stop all the crapiness of him being lifted to a Hero status. Hero, from what I have known are martyrs who sacrificed their lives for the betterment of others and gained nothing in return. If a boxing gloves or a billiard sticks is all we need to be heroes, then by golly, social workers who worked in a leprosarium or asylums are the most pitied of all creatures.

Oh well, the art of politics will always use celebrities to entice the mass of believing that the status quo is all there is.

...just thinking aloud.

New Milestone

2006-11-20T11:52:00.000+08:00

I have said to myself "It's time to move on"

They haven't called after almost two weeks. I've waited and waited. Anxiously anticipating for a call but my hope was left into deaf ears.

And at around 4pm last Friday, life’s little surprises paid a little visit.

A lady called and she said “I’m IN!”

---

After a year working for this company, it will be hard to leave. I’m happy that I have gained good friends and learned many things. The experience brought many good memories that will forever etch in my heart.

But every journey has its end and every good time will conclude.

It’s time to move on

To tougher challenges

Meeting new people

Learning new skills

And molding my destiny

New challenges start here on 120406

---

The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. Charles Dubois

On trying to be different

2006-11-16T11:00:00.000+08:00

~~00~~

Calvin and Hobbes, to date, is my favorite comic strip (Anyone who knows where I can buy the complete series, please do tell.) Mr. Bill Watterson, the creator, ended this fantabulous work in 1995 but the heartprints of this duo remains up until now.

When I started reading C&B, I immediately saw myself in Calvin. The kid who's not popular in school, who spend his time rationalizing his existence and tried not to conform with the mainstream smile-plastered kids; the little brat who got lots of things to say but was dismissed because of his age; the one who flew from group to group trying to find his own niche who can understand him... but found none. Hobbes, who is only alive inside his world, was the one who truly understands and cares.

Like Calvin who got Hobbes, the one whom I consider my bestfriend in my formative years was inside my head--talking animatedly to a caricature of a thought while playing in the fields or watching the clouds on a summer's day...and somehow, that's all I need at that time.

And because of my reclusive personality, I've become accustomed to being independent--of not trying to cling to someone tangible. I tried to maintain a very small group of trusted friends and as much as I wanna change that attitude, I know I'm a loner by default.

As a fan pointed out, "Calvin was really quite an anomaly in popular entertainment -- not just in comics, but in anything, be it movies, TV, etc. He has no friends, and no extracurricular activities...the only person he ever has any real interaction with exists only in his head."

Many of us, for a certain extent, don’t fit in our social groups; we were being pressured to conform to what is accepted and later on, found out that we are not in any way a shadow of that person we are trying to become.

Calvin managed to live out that fact that it was OK to be different.

~00~

No matter who you are and where you came from, no one can be accepted by anybody... but far more people will be attracted to you if you have come to accept yourself.

Weekend Pondering

2006-11-11T12:36:00.000+08:00

It's a cloudy Saturday and I can only imagine how much I've become accustomed to being a hopeless romantic. Its times like these that I prefer to sit in the window and look at the drops of rain form little puddles--silently wondering what went wrong with past relationships. About how much I've traveled to the heights of emotional fulfillment and bounced back to and fro the depths of being alone—again and again.

This is also the best time to play the “what if” scenario:

What if at that time, she was also thinking about you?

What if she is staring at the same piece of sky as well wishing that you could be there beside her?

What if the breeze that silently swept her moments ago is now caressing your cheeks?

What if...

---

The following are some of the text messages I received from a good friend. It all speaks about that throbbing presence we fondly called love.

Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking, but it also shows you're strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Moving out of your comfort zone can be downright scary. But it also proves just how brave you are to take on the unknown...stronger...braver...wiser. You always do a little growing up every time you do a letting go.

~000~

Soulmates can never be found by grasping every hand you see and testing if your hands fit together. But it's that someone who stares back at you on the other side of life when you stare into space and lose consciousness of everything around you and feel a few seconds of what eternity means

---

Have a fulfilling Weekend!

On Gratitude

2006-11-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." Eric Hoffer

~ o ~

I have been meaning to update this blog but my creative juices took a hike and filed for a leave of absence. They called back this morning and here I am trying my best to post something worthwhile to read. (Forgive my metaphor...I know it's lame)

Anyhoo, these past few days, I've been thinking a lot about contentment. I think I've been accustomed to what I have (or who I have) right now that my heart for gratitude are quite deadened to the feeling; I really should be more thankful that:

~ That I still have a family I call my own. My parents, though they are aging, are still strong and in great vigor despite recurring diseases. That my siblings are in tip-top shapes and are doing well with their own career and families.

~ I am thankful that I feel I’m being loved; there's no need to divert my loneliness to bad habits or destructive behaviors.

~ That I am free from pain every time I wake up. Thousands upon thousands did not survive the night,

~ Even though I am not satisfied with my work, I am thankful that it pays the bills. I have the capacity to share financially and have the ability to buy the essentials like foods and clothing. And even though I hate to pay my tax, it only means that I have a steady income.

~ Even though my belly is quite getting a lump and me getting plump (aaargh), it only means that I am deriving nourishment from the food that I eat.

~ That there’s a place I go home after work and a good bed that I can rest on. Clean water to use and good natured housemates to live with.

~ That I am able to read (or write); to see little miracles brought about by new mornings; to feel familiar sensations; to be able to hear and appreciate music, melodies from nature and silent whispers of the heart; to appreciate beauty (or not); the ability to think and voice my concern; the freedom to choose my faith, my leaders and my attitude.

~ And finally, I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to be heard and the chance to influence my circle of friends.

OK, I’m feeling better now.

Whoah! I really feel better now; it’s good to write what you are thankful for because you will realize that indeed you are being blessed by the Good Lord. (And I think there are still more to be thankful for)

------

Now, its your turn!

Thesis

2006-11-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

I. Typhoon Paeng paid a visit in our province

A. Our house was flooded

B. My college bro was panicky

C. It took them a day to get rid of the mud stuck inside our home

II. Floods like these are the direct result of:

A. Legal and illegal loggers

B. Department of Environment who approved their license to loot the mountain

C. Corrupt government officials
C.1. Congressmen
C.2. Governors
C.3. Board Members
C.4. Mayors

III. I went out to watch Open Season

A. The movie is funny

B. Many people missed the good punch lines
B.1. I was the only one laughing
B.2. They think I'm weird

IV. Ideas on Charter Change

A. If the same people will be installed
A.1. Forget it
A.2. What a waste of Money
A.3. Beg foreign friends to take me with them

V. Met with a fellow blogger a couple of days ago
A. A great fellow
B. I think I'm a little bit talkative at that time
B.1 He thinks so too
C. It was fun
C.1. I think so!

VI. Random Quote: No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests. - Mark Twain

VII. More to come

VIII. Goodbye

...and the saga continues

2006-10-28T12:55:00.000+08:00

This week has been one of the most stressful week EVER. Lots of things to do at work with a minimum time to take a personal breather--blogging for instance.

By the way, I applied via online to a certain telecom solutions provider for a position that involves SAP technology and luckily I was called in for an interview last Friday.

From the headhunter’s mouth, he said that :

1. I'm intimidating

2. He really doesn't know me (duh! isn't that TOO obvious)

3. I'm borderline gay (ugh)

Ok, ok, you should know that I just met this guy and I have no right to assess him whatsoever but I kinda laugh when he said:

“Do you consider yourself as straight?"

To which my blabbing mouth replied:

“As of now I think...WHO KNOWS?"

I meant this as a joke but I think he took it seriously.

"So you mean to say there will be a chance that you will go the other way..." I think I saw his eyes saying yipeee! (behave Jef)

“No Sir, I'm straight as an arrow!" ---gasping---

Oh! Well, I managed to segue our conversation into a much relevant topic of interest. I do have qualms whether I will be hired or not. Dami kasing matatalinong kasabayan! But just to be picked for an interview amidst the thousands of hopefuls is a triumph in itself.

On that note, starting with this post, I would like to present you my Random Quote taken from the vast universe of the place we all love—the internet.

Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don't know and I don't care—Jimmy Buffet

Have a great weekend guys!

When work interrupts blogging life...

2006-10-26T19:10:00.000+08:00

the effect is a crude by-product of stressed out life

I really would like to update but I'm running around with bad ideas...and my work sucked all my creative juices (if I have one.)

Ugh! Updates soon.

It's just that my mind is wandering and sometimes leaving off completely.

On Failure

2006-10-20T19:40:00.000+08:00

Exactly a year ago, the result of the CPA Board exam which I took was finally posted on the different review centers.

I failed. Bummer.

...I believe I already wrote my sentiments in this blog from which I quote:

" I believe my passing of the board will be a good parting gift to my aging parents. They are the main reason why I pushed myself to the limit and muster the remaining strength to finish the race so to speak. And life did go on…but something deep inside me withered and died."

And I continue:

"That was the first time I discovered also that I am not holding my destiny after all and it’s an utter arrogance to say the least, that I am the master of my faith…the captain of my soul. And even if how hard you work, sometimes those things or events that you want most cannot be materialized because simply, it wasn’t meant to be.

Though, all these ephemeral disappointments come and go, what I’ve learned most about all these series of events was this absolute truth: family will always be there.

I’m still learning to accept my reality as it is but I don’t plan my life now with a matter-of-fact approach…instead I carve my dreams and wishes nowadays across the walls of my heart and buff it with a simple prayer that His will shall be done."

I still plan to take the board for the LAST time and let's just see. Failure is just a temporary setback. It's not the end result or culmination of an endeavor. As the great Abe Lincoln once coined, " It was just a slip... not a fall."

A friend texted me this message a couple of days ago--talk about coincidence--and thanks to her, my pity party came to a hault.

In my existence, I realized that happiness is a very subjective factor in ones life...being happy doesn’t depend on achieving what you want, but rather making the best out of what is given. Life isn't fair, it never was. The only thing that can make you completely happy is CONTENTMENT...be content on what you have, but be sure to aim high and never stop believing you can do better every time. But if all else fails, don't forget than an ordinary you has an extraordinary God to back you up!

To you my dear friends who took time to read all the sappiness I have to offer, please forgive me if sometimes, all my thoughts are just random pinches of emotion. Yes! You are right...I should be given a restraining order because I should be in a mental asylum***kidding*** but when I started posting my thoughts, my main motivation was to inspire and if I did (even in a very remote possibility) then I have accomplished to what I believe I am here for.

Have a great Weekend, Guys!

Weekend Musing

2006-10-15T18:47:00.000+08:00

Due to his diabetes and high blood pressure, which by the way are already stabilized, one of the stings this disease had left was my Dad's poor eyesight—his vision was deeply affected. He can barely see nowadays and it breaks my heart to realize that his main window to the world is slowly dimming. I cannot even fathom how crippling his situation is. Just imagine yourself being led to a darker world--a world lacking from light, colors and shapes; a world void of beauty.

From a person like my Dad with no habits whatsoever, this is more likely an unfair situation. But ranting about the unfairness of life won’t help. Heck, who said by the way that life is fair. These are just but one of life’s little mysteries that will be unfolded later.

As a son comforting his Dad, words do escape me. My two cents seem so futile…I believe, however, that in any given situation, you must focus on the positive aspect. Although he suffered from a stroke, he was not left an invalid. He can still navigate his way in our home, do whatever it is within his capacity and be able to socialize with people.

But keeping a positive outlook is a feat in itself. This is more of a mental battle than an emotional one. It takes a lot of sheer faith to believe that in every difficulty, a triumph will also ensue.

And as a family, what keeps us intact and what keeps us going amidst the difficulties and problems is by looking up.

In the dark hour of the soul, we must not forget what we've learned in the light.

God has proven his grace and faithfulness innumerable times.

I am confident that He is still in control.

***********

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy,

I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for –

but everything I had hoped for.

Almost, inspite myself, my

unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all men,

most richly blessed.

Anonymous Confederate Soldier

***********

A blessed week ahead.

Random Thoughts

2006-10-12T18:12:00.000+08:00

~ I once asked a saleslady at a major department store where the ForEx (Foreign Exchange) is located and she was all smile to reply “Sir! Is that a new brand of shirt?"

~ Though it is acceptable fact that officemates come and go, when they file for a resignation, I still can't help but to feel sad (however annoying they are.) They somehow made their way from my ass all the way to my heart **wink wink***

~ Last song syndrome sucks. I make it sure that when I leave the house, the last song that I will hear will not turn into an earworm. It's pretty bad whistling about a panty liner or singing unconsciously about a detergent bar while riding in a public vehicle.

~ Every time I went peepee in the mall, I always find a close cubicle or otherwise wait for someone else to get out. I never, and I mean NEVER, will be standing again beside some nondescript guy when I am heeding Mother Nature’s call. Why? Well, I once saw another man's wanger accidentally ***shudder**** and it took me days to remove it from my memory.

~ It’s true, we always think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but we fail to realize that maybe the water bill is much, much higher also.

~ In the recent typhoon we had, I never read militant groups (or student activists for that matter) helped out to clean up the mess. Whhhhhhhyyyyy! Because they only want their esophagus to work than have their hands get dirty.

~ The very popular varsity players of our school before are now packing grocery items in our nearby mall. Hmmm...Life’s little surprises.

Insight

2006-10-09T15:39:00.000+08:00

I went out with friends a few days ago and we went to a popular bar. Sure, it was great to hangout with ‘cool’ people and the band that was playing at that time was really good.

But apart from the thumping music and booze, I felt like running away from that place. I have never felt so alone in my life before.

But then, from the glass window, I saw a kid standing in front of me.

He smiled and I smiled back.

…through his eyes I saw a youngster who enjoys solitude while treading a grassy clearing. A kid who weaves his own dreams across the vast purple sky; a kid who cherished the dancing of the dragonflies, of colorful clouds during dusk and of witnessing little miracles.

He was not afraid to be alone, to take pleasure in simple things and to deeply appreciate quiet moments.

I went outside to look for him.

That’s when I realized that the kid was…me.

Your problems aren't that original-Dawson's Creek

Budz, Luvs and Iya

2006-10-06T12:47:00.000+08:00

I had the opportunity to accompany my sister-in-law to the airport bound to Dubai yesterday. She's the wife of my eldest brother. She happened to secure a two week vacation leave to attend the first birthday of their firstborn child, Iya.

Their courting stretched to an unbelievable eight year period. They were separated half the time they were engaged. My brother was already working abroad at that time and yet they managed to stay together despite the distance and loneliness. Not many couples, even married ones for that matter, can withstand years of utter separation. I guess, that’s how true love and commitment works—to transcend conventions and making the proverbial fairy tale into a concrete reality.

What I observed from their relationship is how they try to complement each other, if my brother is reading this he sure will give me smack on the head hehe…so I wouldn’t give in to details. However, they sure know how to balance their relationship and that’s how their marriage works.

On their eight year, they finally decided to get married and their wedding was the stuff dreams are made of. Everybody can feel their deep sense of love and it was no mistake that they were meant to be. By the way, they were both 33 at that time … it was indeed a loooong wait hehe!

Right after their wedding in December 2004, they went abroad to settle but knowing that my sister-in-law was pregnant, they finally decided that she was better off giving birth here than elsewhere. My brother, however, stayed in Dubai. I know it’s hard for him not be with his wife during the delivery but he never failed to let my sister-in-law knows that they are his world and life. And they still are…

Nine months after being married, they welcome Lorraine Sophia. An angel in disguise, armed with an infectious smile.

Just barely three months after their child was born and inasmuch as it was painful for her, my sister-in-law must go back to Dubai to secure her visa or else it will be revoked. This was the hardest dilemma for them—to weave a better future for Iya, separation is necessary.

To you, Kuya Budz and Ate Luvs, I only wish you the best and may your prayers be answered. Just remember that in every sacrifice, an equal amount of triumph will also ensue.

To you my dear, Iya. May you realize someday the extent of their love to you.

********************

N.B: They are just one of the statistics and their sacrifices weren’t that common nowadays. The Filipino Diaspora is happening and will continue to happen if proper measures to secure the stability of our economy will not come into being. I am not going to bicker about the loopholes of our present system because apparently, it’s under our noses. Something is definitely wrong.

I hope that next time we will cast our votes, we should consider the people we are rooting for.

Good intentions are not enough…remember that they will be the one who will hold the rudder of this mighty ship we call The Philippines.

Diary of an Idle Mind

2006-10-01T11:31:00.000+08:00

thursday 092806

I went to work during the scourging of the typhoon 'milenyo' which leaved the whole damn city out of power. Up until now, our place is in total blackout. Candle anyone (?)

Man, what a sight in watching the storm dance in its fury. From my desk, an arms length from the window, I could see the explosions and howling of the wind and water as if being played by God Himself.

For the first time in the history of this tower (pix on the left), the people were being evacuated on the ground floor lobby. You know why...the Tower was basically SWAYING! That's HOW strong the wind speed was. Ok, ok, we do know that the building was built to withstand super storm but the management cannot take that risk...and mind you, I was kicking my ass for coming to work.

During that time, prior to the evacuation, we were so nauseated to the point of vomiting. Our room was like a cruise cabin being tossed and frayed during a tropical storm. You can literally see empty chairs moving! Everybody was wide eyed in fear, realizing that we can be the 'headlines' of tomorrow’s news.

But praise God, at around 4PM, the storms fury subsided and our company, being the corporate badass, have no choice but to sent us back to continue our WORK! YEY [clap clap clap...sarcasm ensued]

friday 092906

No darn electricity.

Believe me, I questioned how the people in the 1800 live with just a candle to light up their night, circling to an open fire and watch tiny flickers of sooth waft in the air, blabbing on how the stupid mule cannot do the farm work, or how the pimple-faced Betsy annoy prepubescent John or how the rats populate the barn house...or...

Eek, I apologize for my wandering mind.

saturday 093006

Still, no darn electricity!

One of my officemates was robbed during that night and all her important stuff were taken [insert high end cellphone, credit card and the ATM card where our end of the month salary was being credited.]

How I hate these people who have no decency to work hard and resort instead to grabbing things...things that were produced with countless hours of HARD WORK. When caught, they justify how bad the situations were and that they are in dire need of cash. FUCK that. They are nothing but lazy bastards who want an instant dough at the expense of other people.

How I wish their testicles will be infested with throbbing warts!

sunday 100106

UGH… NO DARN ELECTRICITY...

Things to do:

1) Rant about electricity. MERALCO, where on earth are you!

2) Rant about… oh wait, I got NOTHING to do but to stare at the wall and replay in my mind the mindless conversation of Tom Cruise and Renee Zellwe…whatever...on how ‘they complete each other’ in the movie Jerry Maguire.

N.B. Don't get me wrong, I thank God that nothing bad happened to me or my fam. I only rant about minor inconveniences. Forgive the guy for being so petty :-)

Monday 100206

UPDATE: Yey, at 11 PM, we have lights again. It's true, you will never miss what you don't have...and apparently, Madame Electricity has been with me for sooo long that makes me miss her all the more.

Hope you guys have a great week ahead.

Enjoy the little blessings sprinkled along your way. Take note that its these little things we can't live without.

Be loved!

When English is more than words

2006-09-28T16:52:00.000+08:00

The following pix came from an email I received from my sister and I would just like to share it with you guys. With the current typhoon we have where it wreck havoc in most of Metro Manila, it's good to have a good laugh once in a while.

To the readers who are not from this country, please note that Philippines is the third largest speaking nation in the world (as we claim)...but...well...ahhhh...ummmmm...the photos will speak for themselves.

Ummm...I thinks it's 'bed sheet.' Boy, I wouldn't trade any kind of shit for that matter hehe!

Wow, finally an edible shirt! But I bet you might get diabetes when you will try this one.

Whattabout a 'bicycle', would you allow it to enter the premises?

A retiner? Dat es like a bres in yor teeth, rayt?

CANVERS! Shoes made to last.

But I applaud the Management for its sheer audacity to write and POST its own rules for the people to see. And yeah, these are rules to be follows...
****insert clapping emoticons here***

Of Songs and Melodies

2006-09-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

Just imagine the world without music and probably we will be shedding tears for sheer boredom. Whatever genre we belong, either were into RnB, classical or heaven forbid novelty songs, nothing beats the freedom to listen to soothing sounds. May it be reading a book or doing our work or even exercising, music adds flavor to our otherwise bland existence.

Well, I was tagged so you might as well delete my first paragraph. It is just but a lame attempt to segue my point hehehe!

As requested, the following are my se7en 'current' favorite songs:

~ Far Away/Someday/Saving Me All by Nickelback (C'mon it's the same band, so I classified them as ONE song... gimme a break)

~ Reason Enough by Regine Velasquez

~ Completely by Christian Bautista

~ Where Did my Heart Go by James Ingram

~ I Fall All Over Again by Dan Hill

~ Can't Fight this Feeling by REO Speedwagon

~ Why Don't You and I by Santana

...So, you might be thinking at this time that I'm such a hopeless romantic as the songs that I drool over are mostly love songs. Give the guy a little slack because I still blush when I hear Dan Hill or James Ingram...drifting me into a faraway, long-time ago moments with my first crushes or even my first...[feel in the blanks]

And I do come with my own song backgrounds.

Yes! We remember people and places when a song was being played, nudging us back to downtown MemoryVille. That is why when I hear one of my choice songs...I can't help but to stop and be still, burrowing deep behind my thoughts and taste once again the unique experience I almost forgot.

My four month old Nephew, Gian Marco.

I wonder how this little guy will dance to the rhythm of life.

Forgotten Moments

2006-09-23T11:48:00.000+08:00

Once in a while, it's so good to get away from the city and reacquaint with the essentials. I did that for a couple of days. I went home to the province to attend my niece's first birthday. It’s just happened to be that I was allowed to file for a vacation leave amidst the critical period at work.

I liken my visit to my family as a battery recharge. To feel energize with the nonsensical talks. To rediscover old scents...to navigate familiar roads and to celebrate small milestones.

I do believe in the saying that “Life revolves around great moments wrapped in very simple packages." How true, with the fast paced lifestyle in the city, we seldom forget the little things...like the smell of a freshly cut grass or how the sun lights up a room...the way a child smile...the flutter of a butterfly or the subtle kiss of the morning wind.

These are the great solitary moments we often overlook and take for granted. We frequently associate FUN with bright lights and pulsating music, CONTENTMENT with material possessions and HAPPINESS with the people we are with.

By being able to snatch and enjoy simple moments, I am confident that no borders or boundaries can take away my freedom to soar to greater heights because I will know that just far below, a light will always lead me back home.

Have a great weekend Everyone!

On Being a Christian Nation

2006-09-18T10:50:00.000+08:00

We have the same thoughts as FilAmGuy. If we as a nation are REALLY Christians, living out loud the basic tenets of being one, then we should have curbed corruptions, crimes and conflicts. We are disillusioned people shrouding in the veil of religion. Oh, how my blood boil when the politicians and the so called messengers of God convene in the church for a protest mass. What a bunch of self-serving hypocrites.

In line with this, the ULITIMATE goal of the self-proclaimed ministers of God must be the holistic spiritual well being of their flock. If the followers indeed derive enlightment from their teachings, then it is just but logical to presume that there will be a positive paradigm shift of actions... but I digress. Still, many "elders" are trying their best to be part of the already smeared political scenery. Even Christ didn't refute the authority whom God established on earth. Remember the verse “Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Political and Religious rallies goes hand in hand these days. If we are indeed Christians, we should realize that God is the sole player in nation building.

Romans 13:1 states:

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God."

But sadly, many "religious" and overzealous people are cramming up every political rally ranting every unimaginable and demeaning mantra to the official they want to oust. Do we even consider that God too has a say on WHO will sit in the office?

Now, we are questioning why on earth this country, a very religious nation as we claim, being pulled down by sheer poverty and corruption.

Look around…the answer is under our noses.

I will leave you with this verse, a very timely one

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. "(2Chronicles 7:14-15 )

‘nuff said.

100 Post...and counting

2006-09-16T11:42:00.000+08:00

It's my 100th post [insert clapping emoticon here.]

I discovered 'blogger' through my American ex-pat friend, John, who chronicled his peace corps volunteering in this country. The word 'blog' for me before was as insignificant as Philippine politics but man, I never thought that blogging is as addictive as a hot cup of brewed coffee.

Through this site, I have come to discover many facets of people (and I mean GREAT people) around the globe.

From:

UK - Hanni and Buffy

Bulgaria - Trevor

Canada - Vic, Don and Dawn

US of A - AceIan, David, Doc, Grampa Tom, James, LIW, Rho-anne, Rob, Roxanne, Suzy and VegasFilAmGuy

Philippines - Alternati, Atticus, Bong, Carey, Cruise, Dennis, Gbert, Ice, Iskoo, Jairam, Jin, Karol, Neil, SQ, snglguy, Tin2, Tin-Tin and Ymir

Singapore - Arkitek Rey

New Zealand - Jared

Ok, ok, ok, its blogrolling gone wild...but you guys are one of the reasons I want to wake up each morning and drag myself to work. You've opened up your life and thoughts willingly and to be read by 'moi.' This is something that I always find fulfilling because I know that I'm not that screwed up as I thought I were, you guys are much of a hairball than I am hahaha.

Kiddin’ aside ****cough! no I'm not****, I'm lucky that despite the apparent disparity...nothing bridges like a common interest. No one is as far at all.

And by that, I hope that another set of a hundred will come in the offing.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

MasterCard Expanded

2006-09-14T12:46:00.000+08:00

Assuming an intelligent, great looking lady fell in love with a guy- very attractive mid 20 yuppie. They managed to build a home of their own and after six years of marriage, three kids are already running around the house. Due to house chores and rearing the children, the woman altogether stopped working from a prestigious firm and gained a lot of pounds from making a career out of motherhood.

The man, still looking very attractive and very dignified, is doing something many men are secretly doing--having an extra curricular affair. He is madly pursuing a very attractive woman from his office. He thought that as long as he is providing food in the table, attend the 'daddy obligation' and still going home with his wife, he can be classified in the society as the good man-in-the-house.

The woman, after years of being a mother, was still doing all her best to please her hubby. Though her beauty is fading, traces of the what-have-been is still visible from her expanding body. She heard rumors that her husband is doing something fishy but shoved it off as a gossip.

A year passed and unexpectedly, the man said "I don't love you anymore. I met someone else. I want a divorce."

The woman was shattered into pieces but cannot do anything but to comply. She got their home and their children and bade the man away with only tears in her eyes. The man started a whole life with a new bride and a new home. He is never been happier.

The woman, looking in the mirror, discovered her inner strength and her inner beauty. She decided to get back the years she lost. She applied for a job, got in and rose to ranks while juggling being a father and mother to her three kids.

The pounds were shed and after months of continuous exercises, she is the woman she had been and she had hoped for—a woman honed with real life experiences and sharpened with downright self accomplishment.

While walking inside a restaurant for a corporate meeting, wearing a very striking attire, she saw her ex-husband with his eyes wide opened.

She taught:

Gym Membership : $100

Red Dress : $150

Reaction from a good-for-nothing, ass wipe, jerkaholic ex-husband:

PRICELESS

Yeah, yeah, a quasi MasterCard thing again!

Moral of the story: I don't know. I just have the 'writer’s block' at this time...so sue me hehe!

We Remember 9/11

2006-09-11T10:50:00.000+08:00

It's poignant to think about the lives of the people who died during that day.

Ordinary people who just want to get the day over with and come home after work.

Many, perhaps, planned how they are going to spend the night: Having the long awaited first date or being able to be alone with the spouse or playing with the kids or simply having a good read after a tiring day.

But…all was an echo of a plan that never happened. Deafening silence that occupied the heart of those who was left behind.

It's funny to think that the papers and documents flying and littering across the streets during the attack, which was so important or classified hours before, seemed so worthless after. How a single event can change the importance of an item. Or the obsession of climbing the proverbial corporate ladder freezes after realizing how delicate the thread of one's own existence.

Yet, we remember those fathers and mothers who weren't able to come home.

To those children who were stripped from the love of a father or a mother.

And to those friends and families who are still mourning for their loss.

Yes! We remember…

How can a 40 peso bill be the best investment I had so far?

2006-09-09T11:50:00.001+08:00

After work, I yearned to get out from the office with that thought of watching a good series on TV! I was thinking about pampering my night with a cup of coffee and finish it off with a good read.

I was wrong.

Our block was flooded yesterday (yep, rain had something to do with it) but also it was a simple sewerage problem that the City engineers haven't figured out for sooo long. I don't know! Even our taxes are complaining where they are being appropriated to. Whatever the case, flood--even if it is just a heel length, is major pain in the butt.

Pedicab* drivers were in seemingly good mood, in contrast from the swarm of stranded, tired and catatonic people, because opportunities like these only come in rare order and boy! did they charge with skyrocketing fee for their services.

At that time, I can give all the money from my wallet...I just wanna go home. But have thought also, I wouldn't budge in; paying a hefty sum of money is not practical. No way!

I waited for four long hours standing 500 meters away from our home. Never did I realize the true concept of "how near yet so faaar!"

While waiting for the flood to dissipate (like it will gonna...and it didn't after 7 hours), I have come to observe that Filipinos are indeed resilient. Many of whom still have the nerve to laugh and used that moment to socialize with individuals they've only met. I never heard anyone whining about the situation (well, I think I was the only one complaining).

It's true, to fight a major battle and triumph over it is virtuous, but to live everyday amongst minor nuances require a strong spirit.

Now, how can a 40 peso bill be the best investment I had so far?

I had tasted its return immediately in sums of happiness and sheer relaxation.

Well, I persuaded one pedicab driver--one hesitant driver to be exact, to drive me home. And he did!

I have never felt so much excitement going home. To burrow my feet into the warm sheet of my bed and toss my head to my fluffy pillow. And shucks! I love these moments.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

* to those who are not in the Philippines, it resembles a trike

Makati City during the break of dawn as seen from the window of our office.

Ma Galerie de Couleurs Gaspillées

2006-09-07T10:44:00.000+08:00

Fine Arts was my first love but I doubt it in my mind if choosing that career can pay the bills, so I opted for a degree in Accounting instead, which also doesn’t pay that much (talking about irony hehe!) I was never taught at all and everything I learned was painstakingly a self taught experience. Through diligence and a weird childhood, I have come to discover the wonderful world of Renault, Van Gogh and Wyeth (yep, all dead artist)

There’s a freedom with each stroke of colors; recreating clarity from a vision is almost divine. Through arts, I believe I have touched the hands of God and through the splatter of paints and pastels, a world of bliss come alive.

Please give me a slack because these paintings were done when I was still in high school (around 15-16 or so). So those gurus out there who have stumbled around here, give me a break will ya!

Yellow Bird: Watercolor on paper circa 1998

Madonna Circa 1999

The Doe Circa 1999

People Dancing Circa (I don't know. ) I think I did this when I was still in elementary

So there it goes

Regrettably, since I don’t have the time to this anymore because of my due laziness (blame my work for that), I am letting go of something essential, a passion that once flourished my thoughts and dreams.

I should paint more…

Random Musing

2006-09-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

~ A certain guy in our office, a very homely fellow (not to sound conceited), commented on how a woman MUST look like to pass his standards. He vividly described in demeaning details the qualities that his woman must have. My eyes just rolled and my stomach churned when I glanced his face. If I was a woman, he will be lucky if I’m within his peripheral vision.

~ Whoever thought that adding ‘women’ as one of the vices of man is one hell of a raging bastard. Women, Booze and Cigarette: The three main combo for an average Joe. That’s really unfair, don’t you think.

~ When buddies extrapolate their carnal adventures with woman like a big open season hunt, the first thing that comes to my mind is the way their mother’s brought them up…and after that, pity to the one who will fall and marry these knuckleheads.

~ Sometimes, its women’s fault that they were treated without an ounce of respect. Gurls! Not because you have it, you flaunt it…and darn, you do know how to flaunt it. And if men will whistle and drool, you act *** with two finger snaps *** as if you haven’t thought that wearing a shirt with a plunging neckline or a skirt the size of a bonnet will not cause a time warp for the testosterone infested co-specie.

~ Many married men act as if they are still single and women… are in dire need to buy a clue. If your boyfriend has secrets the size of pentagon, good chances are he is either gay or married, and he being gay is a far far better option.

Aftermath

2006-09-02T18:15:00.000+08:00

So basically, I spent my birthday at the office—working.

No party

No Beer

Nil…nada…zip

Of all the time, September 01 was the busiest.

I went home after my shift, ate a meager dinner at a nondescript resto and read a book.

Celebration will come later.

So I guess, I’m just getting older, more responsibility, more accountability.

…but still THANK YOU dear blogmates for the greetings! You all know how to make an 'old man' smile.

On Being 24

2006-08-31T09:18:00.000+08:00

67 years ago, German forces attack Poland across all frontiers and its planes bomb Polish cities, including the capital, Warsaw - Britain and France prepare to declare war.

46 years ago, Britain's first betting shops will be allowed to open for business from May 1961.

37 years ago, King Idris of Libya is deposed after a group of officers take power and declare the country a republic.

24 years ago, September 01, 1982, my parents heard my first cry….

It's a long and winding road but the journey is yet to start.

And what have I learned so far?

Though disappointments and failures come, life does go on. They are not the reason for me to give up, but a challenge to move forward.

That the most important people in my life will always be my family. Their unconditional love and acceptance serves as my beacon and wherever this life may lead me, I will always have a light to guide me back home.

That friends, at time, will disappoint you but that does not mean that they don’t care.

That a single person can change your life in an instant.

That success is relative by the values that define your character.

That when you travel so fast in life, many treasured moments will be missed.

That in finding your strength, you have to face your weaknesses.

That contentment lies on your attitude to find fulfillment in the most ordinary situations.

That to love is more important than to be loved.

That to live is not to exist but to exist is to live.

That every life ends but there’s no reason not to enjoy it.

Blessed and forever thankful that God gave me another shot at life

…and all I can say is “BRING IT ON!”

Look Up!

2006-08-28T16:44:00.000+08:00

I've watched Discovery channel last night and an interesting program was playing: Earth's Final Days. The show presented scientific facts that laid out our final days ahead: when the sun will burn out its fuel and explode, asteroids the size of a country impacting the earth and black holes that may suck our solar system.

If you will look into it, our extinction may not come from within, we forget that the bigger inevitable problems just lie up above.

This holistic view of our fragile existence will help us discover that wars between countries and the ongoing terrorism are nothing but a drop in a bucket: futile and useless.

Weekend Pondering

2006-08-26T17:26:00.000+08:00

In life there is really no guarantee…

You may have all the acronyms after your name like PhD, CPA or MD

You may have graduated from an Ivy League university

You may have the flashiest cars like BMW, Ferrari or Mercedes

You may have earned the respect of other people

You may be friends with the who’s who

You may be working for a Forbes 500 company

You may have the most spectacular house you can ever build

You may have the biggest bank account

You may have the latest fashion and designers clothes

You may have the current techies available

You may have everything in the world…

And yet when you are stripped from all of these, you’re just YOU

Simple and plain YOU.

Time will come that your existence will also cease

…would all these still matter?

***drawn summer of 2003

Random Musing

2006-08-24T17:02:00.000+08:00

I just cannot help but to feel extremely frustrated when I look at the street children begging for food. Why can’t their parents be responsible enough to look after their own kids? People, just because you were given the liberty to have sex all you want, just make sure you can face any repercussion from your favorite past time activity. If you can’t handle it then better look for any alternative choice to occupy your time. Working hard is one.

I have this new acquaintance that I met couple of days ago. We shook hand after that meeting but he left me something special that I will never forget—a booger between my fingers, trust me I did not produce that one. I felt like vomiting when I saw it and I thought a very loooong time how to get rid of it. YEK!

I admire those people who say they don’t believe in God. Well, I admire their sheer audacity that’s all. It takes a lot of courage and solid boldness to be self-reliant. I hope they have a strong wall to lean on when trouble comes.

Let’s face it, good looking individual are far luckier. Though some of them have brains the size of their thumb, they still get promoted, get there first, and enjoy many benefits that a plain individual like me could just dream of. We are by nature attracted to shining or stand out things/people etc. If not, then showbiz should have not thrived, beauty salons could have just been a concept and fashion is just synonymous to manner.

I have observed that news is 10% factual and 90% BS, and I don’t mean Bachelor in Science, eh! To gather viewership, reporters rely more on empathy or emotional value rather than presenting the Who, What, Why and Where of it. Well, who could blame them, people are by nature fascinated with the touching, arousing or disturbing events. Just add a pinch of realty and wala, it’s CNN!

Labeling individuals belonging to a certain group is nothing but pure bigotry especially when that person committed a crime. News always state this way: A gay, black man who is a Jew murdered a Chinese prostitute. Like the details of him being gay and a black Jew has something to do with his crime. Labeling is just a worthless description, so stop it.

Mc Donald’s and other fast food restos should not accept orders of big mac and its combo from the already obese individuals. Sounds smug…but if you think your product will just add a level of fat again to these already ballooning customers, then as a service to them and the community, a special discounted price of salads and healthy veggies should be offered to them instead.

There it goes, my random musing from my insipid world. Any reaction, violent or constructive, is highly accepted hehehe!

Back To Innocence

2006-08-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel jealous observing little toddlers with their friends. Their affection to show how much they love their buddies is not tainted with malice. We can see little boys with their arms wrapped around their friends’ shoulder or girls holding each other hands while walking.

Stations in life seemed a far fetch idea to these kids as well. Whether you are rich or below the economic ladder, so long as you can whistle a tune or catch a dragonfly—you’re in. You don’t need to prove anything to be accepted.

Yes! There is the occasional crying and tantrums but a big bullfrog or a wiggly worm can blow the tension away. It’s like there’s this unwritten code between kids that crying or fighting isn’t’ fun—and yeah! It isn’t!

A childhood memory with our friends is like an old road that you can navigate by heart.

I do remember that time when foods were shared willingly (even a single cookie will be divided into many parts) and stories spawn from imagination were accepted as fact. Time is of no essence so long as Mom will not holler that it’s time for dinner.

How good it is to discover that minutes were as big as melons or hours were counted by how many flat stones were skimmed in the glassy lake.

A happy hour is not at all associated with beer, however, a great time consist of watching the clouds drift slowly across the blue sky, or examining spiders knit its web, or counting how many chicks the mother hen hatched.

Deep friendships were made by a mere babbling of cross-my-heart-hope-to-die mantra, believing innocently that friends are indeed forever.

But as we grow older, priorities changed and what we consider as significant in our lives now revolves on being successful, having the flashiest blings or climbing the corporate ladder first.

People change and the friends we have made in our formative years are just but a foggy memory that once occupied a special part in our hearts.

When I see kids now being contented with what they have, who they have and where they are…I can’t help but to smile.

We’ve all been there too.

And it was a fun memory after all…

My Oh-so- BLOATED Ego!

2006-08-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

The reason I wasn’t able to blog for a couple of days was I filed a vacation leave and went home to the province.

Man, what a breather to get out from the city and be fully acquainted again with the simple life—to tread old familiar roads and rediscover the beauty of a star filled night sky.

True to its claim, there are things that money can’t buy, for everything else... (nope! I don’t wanna go to the MasterCard thing…hahah!)

As I had time in my hands, I made this quasi slash pseudo…errr... FAKE magazine cover.

By the way, thank you all for the comments on my previous post. I appreciate it a lot!

What if

2006-08-15T00:28:00.000+08:00

It was an ordinary day.

I woke up just in time, beating my alarm clock by fifteen minutes. I called on my maid, a newly hired domestic helper from abroad, to fix my breakfast and press my clothes.

I then gathered the newspapers from the patio and read my usual favorites. The business column named the Philippines as the most stable economy and once again gained the highest shares on the Stock Market. Wow! 15 Years in a row. The Peso is in its most stable period—1 Peso to 55 Dollars.

I can still remember the dark ages of this country though, where corruption and poverty were deeply intertwined with our psyche and acutely embedded in our culture, but somehow, we survived that.

And indeed, what a comeback!

We are the first country to produce the most efficient renewable energy and the first one to untapped the potential capability of water to be the fuel for our environment friendly automobiles—all manufactured locally. Investments came pouring in and a new optimism was seen on the horizon.

As the country rose, many Overseas Filipino Workers who previously worked as maids, nurses, engineers and factory workers came back to stay for good. Families were once again reunited.

There are surpluses of jobs and the country cannot fill in the vacancies that were needed and had instead lured other nationalities to come work for us. Currently, we are home to different nationalities and have become the melting pot of culture and diversity in Asia.

Our Educational System also was being emulated by our neighboring nations. Through radical process, we have cut the illiteracy rate by nearly 85%. At present, we are the hub of Information Technology in Asia and the main provider of electronics, chips and softwares to the rest of the world.

Though we are the most technologically advanced country in the world, environment was not jeopardized. Pockets of eco-parks are within the city area and natural resources are heavily protected.

Poverty is in its lowest rate, affecting only a minute portion of the urban area.

Our Social Welfare bested other nations as well because it alleviated social injustice and have promoted self sufficiency through economic mobilization.

Taxes were cut in half and benefits doubled. For once, the government acted for the people and by the people.

As I am a witness to the political and economic evolution of this country, I can’t help but to be proud that I am a part of that change.

I have seen the overwhelming transition from our deep instability to solid stability.

We have conquered impossibilities and realized possibilities.

Our Filipino Pride shaped our Filipino Dream.

…then I woke up again.

Darn! It was all but a dream!

NB: Be out for a couple of days guys. I hope you all the best. God bless!

Lost in Translation

2006-08-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

Thanks to the World Wide Web, we can actually translate a foreign language document into something that we can really understand.

Japanese to English or Russian to Spanish…you name it, a language translator program can do it for a fraction of a time than finding that language ‘geek’ you need to harass to translate it for you.

Well, until you are that good speaking with different languages, I reckon that you must think twice using this translator thingee.

Case in point: The sentence that was used here was from the “About Me” in my profile column. Just swerve your sight at the upper right corner of your computer screen just below my profile pic…THERE found it!

Anyhoo, what I did was to translate it to Spanish, from Spanish to French and back to our good ‘ol English.

And I laughed at the result…

Original: In English

Sometimes, words hardly spoken are from those safely tucked within. These are the fragments of my life...my wishes...my dreams flowed freely from that throbbing presence inside my body.

In Spanish

A veces, las palabras habladas apenas son de ésas remetidas con seguridad dentro. Éstos son los fragmentos de mi vida... mis deseos... que fluyeron mis sueños libremente de esa presencia que palpitaba dentro de mi cuerpo.

In French

Parfois, les mots parlés dès qu'ils sont de de celles-là remetidas avec sécurité à l'intérieur. Ceux-ci sont les fragments de ma vie... mes désirs... qui ont librement coulé mes rêves de cette présence qui palpitait dans mon corps.

…and back to English

Sometimes, spoken words as soon as they are of these remetidas with safety inside. Those are the fragments of my life... my desires... which freely ran my dreams of this presence which palpitated in my body.

HUH! What palpitated in my body, wha…?!

No wonder the long road to world peace is as elusive as the Golden Fleece.

You say TOMATOE and I say TOMATO that kind of thing.

Darn you King Nimrod!

Crazy Thoughts

2006-08-11T00:51:00.000+08:00

Fart is alright, we all do this one time or another and it is just but a natural body function. Darn those gassy foods! What if your date cannot control his/her sphincter and let out a moist, atomic size, decibel crashing fart? What would you do?

Oohh! Baby, let me try that also…***prooooft*** It smells like curry, aint it? Oops, I thought it was just a fart—uh oh!

Oral hygiene must at all time be given much attention and a woman, even how extremely good looking she is needs to be at least 300 meters away from me as I will be getting a restraining order from a judge. I can’t concentrate talking to her because I will be counting my oxygen intake and not to mention trying to avoid my murderous thoughts of flooding her with mouth wash. What I detest more is that sometimes, people with halitosis tends to laugh so hard as to spew many bacteria-infested spit on my face…eeeewww!

I don’t know but used sanitary napkins make me go ballistic, irking my body with so much ickiness that I can literally taste my own barf. Excuse me ladies, I know this is a normal process and I completely understand it…but you know what, not many of you are that hygienic and most of the time, some just throw this away to let a scavenging dog (or cat) claim this treasured prize back home. What I hate most is when this thingee will be thrown in a trash bin on a public toilet. My initial thought--Is this alive? It looks like it's moving. Yek!

Have you ever had that roommate in college (or now) that gagged profusely every time he gargles or take a brush? That person that empties his esophagus by inducing a tuberculosis-like cough and later on produces a big wad of green phlegm. He strategically do this when you are eating noodles or sunny side up eggs! Forgive my thoughts, but all I can think of during this time is to whack him in the head and throw the soup at him hehe!

The reason “All Spice”, “Axe” or “Rexona” are thriving so well is because…well, a portion of the population just have a problem letting go of their Cro-Magnon scent. The last time I checked, body sprays are used after showers—not a substitute for taking a daily shower. But No! Many people, men specifically, just dab cologne and off they go. Brushing their way to a crowded place like a train station, bus terminals and yeah, small, cramped office cubicles.

Remember this equation: Sweat + cologne = foul stench.

Eye crust can sometimes be so distracting. It’s really hard to have an eye contact when the person you are talking to have a large plank on one of his eyes. That yellowy thing that’s getting bigger and bigger as time passes by. The hardest part is to let him know about it:

Ummm! You know…Aahhh, there is something…eermmm---

You get what I mean!

Okay ‘Nuff said…just thinking aloud!

Dear Sandy,

2006-08-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

Surprise!

I know it’s been so long and writing you once again only brings back many memories.

So how are you Sandy? I have heard you are doing pretty well. I know you deserve every blessing.

Time dictates, however, that I should write now…to tell you how I really feel. It seems a little bit late but being honest to you is not something that I have done before. I have since regretted the chance I blew knowing that I am killing myself bit by bit by withholding the things I need to say.

I just want you to know that even though we are miles apart, nothing will ever change the way I feel for you.

The distance only magnifies my deep longing.

The separation only intensifies my desire to see you again.

The horizon may stop me from reaching you but that doesn’t deter my heartfelt joy in knowing that you are being loved.

I know...I know you are already taken and boy! was he a lucky guy. I only hope that he will see in you Character more than Beauty, Strength more than Splendor and Substance more over than Form.

I’m not asking you to love me…nor am I asking for you to consider. Let me just love you from a distance…that’s all I’m asking.

This is just but a vain attempt to let you know that across the space and time, someone out there sincerely cares for you. I do!

I will now empty my longings into the vastness of my dreams and let my tears shine with the company of our memories.

As sure as the night turns into day, I will cast my wish that someday, you will look me in a different light...discover your way, back into my arms.

…and until then

I will wait.

A pinch of kiddie memory

2006-08-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

I was only five years old. I remember the time when my elder brother was sleeping. It was his great afternoon nap.

My brother [up until now I guess] usually has his mouth open while sleeping. I was pretty curious because I don’t sleep like that. Well, my evilness came into being. I decided to get a pinch of salt. So to keep the story short, I did what I supposed to do, pour the salt into his mouth.

He gagged! And I froze from where I was standing. Gathering my wits, I scram outside the house as fast as I could and saw a mango tree just a few meters away. I climbed until I saw him running but because I was no where in sight, he went back to our house.

Part of me was so afraid and part of me was so ecstatic. It was a stupid mistake but loving every minute of it. I chuckled just remembering that instance when he opened his eyes, disoriented with a funny look in his face.

I was in the tree for hours till I saw my Dad coming home. It was then that I run towards him because I knew my brother could not knock me off when I was in the arms of the old man.

I saw my brother’s stares searing like a hot iron.

I just smiled back.

The Ant Bully

2006-08-04T00:59:00.000+08:00

I had the chance to watch “The Ant Bully” yesterday and it was a time (and money) well spent. Should you have time, I urge you to watch it.

The synopsis is very simple: A young boy threatens an ant colony and then destroys the colony's anthill with a water pistol. When he's shrunk to ant size and sentenced to work in the colony, however, he starts to change his mind about how he treats the little bugs.

A certain part of the movie struck me with deep sense of wistful thinking. It was Zoc the sorcerer and Lucas conversing on top of a mushroom. The towering city was beyond them and Zoc asked what does human do in those “nests.” Lucas nonchalantly replied that every human is a man for himself, that because of differences, humans tend to withdraw from each other living like a single colony of their own. Zoc was appalled. He then compared his colony, their values and what makes them stick together. He said that differences did not divide them apart but helped them realized their own function in the colony which make each ant a vital part of the whole.

Come to think of it, Zoc was right! We must celebrate diversity instead. What a waste of time of trying to make the whole population be molded into one single description. It’s our deep misguided thought of conforming to the popular, majority and safe that needs to be expelled from our psyche.

The ant’s colony proved true—there is really UNITY in DIVERSITY.

Find the ant in you!

Crazy Thoughts

2006-08-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

I am an advertising fanatic. I savor good advertisements and I can only count within my fingers those ads that made a mark into my memory…and yet there are those ads which I just love to hate. Well, this post is just but a common observation and the what if’s of the wonderful world of consumerism.

I have yet to see a Napkin advertisement which uses red as the color to simulate the ‘heavy flow.’ Well, they usually use Blue…maybe to lessen the grossness hahaha!

Tall billboards towered many of the streets with pictures of good looking ladies or gents, greatly posing with their gym carved bodies…and yet what struck me most was that they were just endorsing a shoe or a watch.

Would it be great if Funeral Parlors would have a SALE? Seriously, I believe many morbid citizens will grab each opportunity when they offer a FREE TRIAL or 50% OFF or Buy ONE TAKE ONE Sale. Wouldn’t you agree?

In the Marlboro Advertisement, it gallantly welcomes us to ‘Marlboro Country’, I just wonder if that particular place is where the people with emphysema, bronchitis and lung problems convene?

I’m playing the innocent card here so Ymir and Jin shut up hehe! Why do they add flavors to condoms? It’s not like someone will chew or eat it? Chocolate flavor my ass…why not concoct a DURIAN flavored condom now that they are at it!

If double standard should not be made, then men with big round bellies should also model briefs or boxers. Why limit the population with the ripped ab gym rats? Yeah! A little bit gross when you look into a billboard having a 300 pound man on his briefs--but that's reality! Ask many moms.

Lastly, why do all commercial models in print ads endorsing foods or beverages need to open their mouths so wide? Burger or drinks, you name it! Without a doubt, these models have mouths that can fill in two close fists.

Okay, the craziness stops here...

sidenote: Those who are requesting that I should also post sample of my paintings...I already did. Click pastels.

On being sick and living alone...and of Moms too!

2006-07-31T00:48:00.000+08:00

I had the worst case of flu these past few days and up until now, the stinging claw of the ‘bug’ still has a toll in my body. The unending rain in this country makes a little harder to fully recover as well.

One thing I learned from this hellish experience though: It’s hard to get sick when you’re living ALONE!

Case in point:

We have running water but it’s not potable so even though I’m so sick, I have to go to the nearest water refilling station to quench my parched tongue and replaced the fluids in my system.

Buying and cooking food need an extra jolt of energy, which at that time I have low supply of.

Sponge bath. That was an experience. I boiled water, poured it in a basin and added vinegar. I stripped naked in the bathroom and with the help of a soft cloth, I then rubbed my whole body till the water turned a little bit eeky…yek!

I have to watch my medicine intake that in every six or eight hours , I should take this and that medicine.

Though, I’m chilling so bad, I walk a mile or so to the hospital ( no particular route for any transpo on my location, ugh!) for an examination and the good doctor said:

“How do you feel right now?” I’m sick can’t you see!

“Do you have High Blood, Diabetes…etc?” Come on, are you kidding me?

“Well, flu and cough are caused by viruses.” Gee, Doc, thanks for the info DUH!

Although, I have housemates that could ease my burden a little, I really don’t like to be a bother to them as they have their own life to manage. With their little efforts, they did make a difference.

However, this only proves true—when you are having fun living alone, you really don’t like the eyes of an authority [parents in particular] to fall upon you. You surmised that you are an independent stud, an adult for that matter but when trying time comes, you cannot fathom the longing for a mother’s care.

When I called mom back home, I cannot help myself but to cry and wished she was with me or I was at home under her care. Mother’s in general are natural Florence Nightingale; they are made that way and wired up to cure the pains and sufferings of their children.

I guess all of us, even if we try to puff our chest out and proclaim that we are the king of the world, still, nothing can beat the hands that rock the cradle.

Moms are indeed priceless!

"meme"

2006-07-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

Jairam, tagged me into this 'meme' stuff . Anyway, I answered this ‘meme’ for an hour and this is what I have come to squeezed from my thoughts.

3 Things that scare me:

Untoward events that may befall to my Fam.
Death of my feline companion.
Not living the purpose from which I am here to accomplish

3 People who can make me laugh:

My Mom
A person who’s doing absolutely stupid like running towards a wall, things like that
A person who blabber before he thinks

3 Things I love:

Smile of a new born babe
Colors during dawn or dusk
Warm cup of coffee while reading a good book

3 Things I hate:

Animal abusers.
Rich people who don’t seem to care that there are lives apart from them.
When I have a cold or flu (like right now…darn)

3 Things I don't understand:

Racism. Nobody is a minority.
People who have everything and yet feeling dissatisfied with their lives
Theory of Relativity (I just don’t have a clue. Physics makes me SICK)

3 Things on my desk:

Mug of Coffee
Papers…lots of them
Bottled water

3 Things I'm doing right now:

Working (when I was rudely disrupted writing this meme)
Yeah! You guessed it Blogging
Listening to Jars of Clay and Leigh Nash(?)

3 Things I want to do before I die:

Visit Eiffel Tower or Grand Canyon
Have my paintings included in a gallery
Be a Certified Public Accountant (yeah..really!)

3 Things I can do:

I can paint. Any art media will do.
I can sing well. (In my thoughts that is…Nope, I’m lying)
I can travel without any maps and still wouldn’t be lost.

3 Ways to describe my personality:

I’m more of an introvert. I socialize but I am more at peace with my own thoughts. Ok ok ok…I may look like a looser but I don’t give a damn !
You may find me blabbing for an hour and quiet for the next hour.
I talk to myself…lots of time and my Mom was actually worried and had pondered that I should see a shrink.

3 Things people might not know about me:

I have committed many murderous acts in my mind to people I loathe hehe (well, better than doing it in real life.) Seriously, I can spite you while smiling.
Ok, I’m pouring my soul here—I had an hernia when I was only 6 months old but thank Heavens, I’m now healed…I think!
I can be vain sometimes. Now where’s my mirror!

3 Things I can't do:

Line Dance ( I hate that)
Lick my elbows
Appreciate Rap music

3 Things I think you should listen to:

That I can do all things through Christ which gives me strength.
That life is just but a fleeting moment. Enjoy every minute of it. Who knows, you might be taking your last breath tomorrow?
That the most important things are free-- always wrapped in simple packages.

3 Things I don't think you should listen to ever:

Pessimistic People. Stay away from them.
That money can satisfy your deepest craving.
That the world revolves around you.

3 Of my absolute favorite foods:

Beef stew with lots and lots of potatoes
Pancit
Pinakbet

3 Things I'd like to learn:

To play the guitar or violin
Making a movie
French (bonjour is all I know, darn!)

3 Beverages I drink regularly:

Coffee
Tea
Coke

Yep! All containing caffeine

3 Shows I watched when I was a child:

Little Women
Princess Sarah
The Dog of Flanders

They were all in ABS-CBN…I missed these shows.

And finally I would like to tag:

Vic

Ymir

Jin

I’d be checking on you guys.

On State of the Nation

2006-07-25T05:32:00.000+08:00

The President had her State of the Nation Address (SONA) yesterday and as usual the constant bickering and the carnival of political clowns [composed by the paid rallyist and their messiah’s] paraded with their tongue-swaging lamentations.

All have their own views about the inanities of the President’s speech and the media hyperventilated with delight as they feasted amongst the politicians who can’t wait to give their two cents.

I admit I’m a pro-administration and pro-GMA.

Why? Because, in as much as the President have her own shares of incapacities, I still recognize that she is working for the greater good.

The oppositions, on the other hand, always bicker and complain about our present situation but were not doing their own shares of plight—like working their ass off for the goodness of their constituents to start with. They don’t have any concrete plans should the President be impeached. All they have are mere words of promises—void of substance and truth.

This is the reason why they cannot get the mandate of the people to go outside and forcefully remove the President. We simply don’t trust them and we know for a fact that they have deep ulterior motives which is far more sinister than the present government. If choosing the lesser evil should be made—then I trust the present evil which I have come to know.

Oppositions are downright arrogant.

They don’t recognize the contribution of each and every Filipino in nation building. What feeds the major chunk of our economy are Dollar remittances of our Overseas Filipino Workers, whom, despite the longing to be with their family, continue to work abroad just to provide food in the table. As an individual, we contributed to the holistic economic change through paying our taxes. Small scale businesses, though we are in trying times, still persist and investors in spite of the political hurricanes manage to keep the investments afloat.

We must all recognize that building this nation needs our collective effort. The President is not the answer for our fiscal inadequacy; neither is she the answer for poverty or widespread corruption. She is not our Messiah!

All the problems we have now are self-inflicted…this is the State of our Nation!

…just thinking aloud.

The Art of Letting Go II

2006-07-24T00:52:00.000+08:00

One of the hardest part of any good relationship is having to say goodbye. May it be a temporary separation or a long term one, biding a farewell always leave a deep shove of longing.

I accompanied my sister at the airport yesterday and as of this writing she is now in Dubai to join my two elder brothers who worked there.

Kirrs, as I fondly call her is the only girl in the brood of five. She is our middle child, my big sister and my closest friend. I am four years behind her but that doesn’t hinder our good relationship as buddies.

Of course, growing up with her was a calamity. We always fight when we’re still young and had declared a weekly world war that made our mom scream with contempt.

But as we have entered maturity, we both realized our fondness for each other—that no matter what happened, family will always be there.

She took me under her wings and she became and still is the best mentor I had. It’s only now that I surmised that my attitude toward life in general was fashioned from her. She validates my thinking and pushed me to be the best person I can be. She is my source of quality advice and my threshold of reality. Truth is, she doesn’t sugar coat in letting me know that sometimes I can be a prick.

11 years ago, a tragedy happened to my family as the three of my siblings faced a motorcycle accident.

It was her who was badly injured and up to this day, she carried the scar of that formidable past. Her left leg is the testament that life can, at times, be unfair.

Yet, what astounds me most was her persistence that life must go on. She kept her faith in the Almighty and vowed that this is just but a challenge worthy of her time. She finished her bachelor’s degree with flying colors and passed the CPA Licensure Examination thereafter. She then found a lucrative post in one of the government agencies and made a name for herself. Her disability did not push her to give up; it made her stronger.

She is the embodiment of a person who had gone through deep waters and darkest nights and despite of it all—her spirit still persists. She had found the unwavering light that is in her and kept it aflame. How true, triumph ensue to those who persevere.

To you Kirrs! Saying Thank You cannot suffice the treasured moments we have shared.

Saying I Love You is not sufficient to describe my heartfelt joy in knowing that you are my sister and my friend. Words escaped me this time.

…but still, you know that this comes from the deepest part of me.

Make it good and weave your dreams into reality.

Hope to join you and Kuya soon!

A Peek into Jef's Reality

2006-07-22T05:56:00.000+08:00

These are some of the snapshots of my life—apart from blogging hehe! Have a great weekend everyone.

My division's farewell party to my boss (at my right)
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At the ice skating rink where I embarrased myself to oblivion (don't ask!)

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Booze meksh me a little bit shtupid *hik*

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Yeah Baby yeah!

Crazy Thoughts

2006-07-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

~ If our court or the justice system will implement an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth ruling. I wonder how a rapist will find himself being locked up in a dark dungeon with a hard core criminal who haven’t seen any woman (or man) for ages. I wonder what kind of horror this rapist will face when the tables are turned.

~ Would it be great if we have a “Reality” television like the Big Brother or Survivor in which we will choose a corrupt government official—via the tallying of our votes through our cellphones, to be thrown out at the shark-infested ocean. The lowest vote will be “outed” [aka free dinner to the sharks] and the winner will be pardoned. I believe this show will have a sweeping ratings and I’m pretty darn sure that people who plan to enter politics will think twice…or thrice!

~I would still like to see a product which doesn’t offer any WARRANTIES. Even a diaper nowadays offers one. Come to think of it, a warranty provides a security that in case their product will mess up, the warranty will serve as a buffer for any escalated arguments by their customers. What’s the matter sir? Oh! You mean to say that the diaper cannot absorb all the pee. Sorry for that, here you go, per company’s courtesy…here’s a new pack! Why offer any warranty if you think your product is good, right?

~The legal age directive in smoking or alcohol intake is plain bullshit. The branch of government which regulate it seemed to have a hollow mind in saying that these substances should only be used/taken by “adults” meaning individuals who reached the age of majority—18. Why? Does this mean that they will not be prone to diseases? Or a body which reaches 18 years of age can easily adapt and be immune to the after effects of such habits? Hmmm!

~I just don’t get the point of a two-toned rap music with the yeah’s and ows’ and break it down! Simply read the lyrics of these so called soulful songs and you get a pretty much idea on the verbal capacity of the singer. Wazzzup, yah yeah yeah….yeah right!

~Did you try covering your ears while watching a group of people grooving on the dance floor? Without the music and the beat, they look like an epileptic patient having a major seizure!

…just blabbing aloud!

For my brotha!

2006-07-18T03:41:00.000+08:00

Ok! While the girls have the suggested methods of shooing the guys off as provided on my previous post, I pondered that we guys have that capacity to say NO as well, right?

So, guys, it’s our turn.

I’m Gay: This line is a time tested alibi. Look her in the eye and tell her that you’ve peeked inside your soul, swam the deepest ocean of your heart and scaled the highest depths of your emotion and have found out that you like… man. If necessary, sob a bit with the frequent whimper to add effect to your Oscar award winning lie. If she’s going to say “it’s fine, I accept you!” then the drastic measure of telling her that you will undergo sex operation must ensue. If she is still persistent—RUN!

Be a Hominid: Going back to your ancestry won’t hurt you. Do not shave or even have your usual haircut till tiny critters will populate your body like a zoo. Let your natural odor be your own signature“AllSpice.” Brushing your teeth is a thing of the past and taking a bath is archaic. Let your body produce extra soil with the dead skin you shed. You might even discover your calling as a landscape artist-- that's shooting bird with a single stone.

Be uber sensitive: If being gay cannot give you the boot then emphasize sensitivity. Cry when you see the sun settle during dusk or when you pick a wild flower. Describe in full details what you are feeling when you see the colors of the rainbow or how blue the sky is. Rent chick flick films. [ Sleepless in Seattle, You Got Mail-- any Meg Ryan movies will do] Be an overly enthusiastic animal lover as well. Elaborate your emotions through dance interpretations and pantomime. Your main tool here is tears--cry very often. The key here is to tap your female instinct—if you have one.

Be a Mama’s Boy: Talk about your mother incessantly and blatantly compare her to your girl. Your first sentences must always be “My Mom always said or my Mom usually does…” and if that’s not going to bother her, try convincing your mom to go with you during dates.

Try Amnesia: Forget everything! Forget the important dates—your anniversary, her birthday or the day when she first saw you or your first kiss or her favorite song or her favorite food—EVERYTHING! Heck, try to pretend you forgot her name as well.

Be a Professor: Dissect each word she’s saying. Example: Your use of the intransitive verb is wrong or your use of the present participle –ing is a deliberate grammar slip. Or try to lecture her about quantum physics or the relativity of space and time. If she will not drool for boredom or pluck your eye for sheer disgust, then you still need improvement. Try Math! Caution: An IQ of Above Average is needed here, so any guy who thinks that Hawaii is a country must skip this number.

Be a Bum: Quit your job and ask her to support you. Let your beer belly grow into beauty by sitting on her couch and watching TV the whole day. If she’s not going to kick your fat ass outa there then there something brewing in her mind. Whatever it is…RUN!

Be Spiritual: Or pretend to be one. Say you are searching for a much deeper meaning in your life and have come to discover Priesthood as the answer to your overwhelming emptiness. Be ready to abstain bad habits and the dating scene for awhile. If this is hard then #1 above is much suited for you.

Be Narcissist: Enroll into the nearest gym and let yourself ogle to your own physique. When you two are having dates, look for a place with lots of mirror and always check the chiseled muscles of your triceps or biceps. Ask her if she thinks you are the most beautiful man alive. Always butt in to your conversation how good looking you are and how lucky she is to have you. If her eyes won’t popped with contempt then try #1 above.

Lets just be friends: Yes! The all time proverbial alibi. Only use this phrase when all your options run out. This is biohazard as it creates many mixed signals. Be prepared to answer her rebuttal: I am willing to wait should you change your mind or Am I not enough for you? Or Is there someone else or What have I done wrong, please tell me? Or…you get what I mean! Again, this is your last option. At least try first #1 above.

Okay! I hope I have shed light to this issue. These are only suggestions and must not be taken on face value. Be creative dudes. If being a sleazy scumbag [which most of us are] is not your innate personality, then ignore this post.

Till then!

For the Gals: 10 things to do to ditch the guy away.

2006-07-15T01:41:00.000+08:00

Be Needy—the overwhelmingly dependent leech: Send him notes upon notes via text or email messages stating that you can’t live without him. Call him every 15 minutes telling him that you miss him already. When you’re together, do not lose grip with his touch. Hug him like you will never see him again. Make a T-shirt with his face printed all over—it’s a declaration of your undying love. If your boy will not run to get a visa bound to Timbuktu, then I suggest you do the same…run!

Borrow a Baby: If the needy card wouldn’t nudge him to give you up. Borrow someone else’s baby. At your date, introduce your boyfriend to the baby. “Look here my angel, here is your new daddy!” Tell him that you are currently processing the papers for his legal adoption to your baby and you are already using his surname for the baby’s doctor’s appointment. Ask him for monthly support!

The twin: Put a little lump of play dough just above your shoulder. Tell your boy that the lump is actually the head of your undeveloped twin sister.

Be psycho: Get the names and numbers of his female coworkers and drop them a message that you are going to skin them alive should they try to talk to him. In addition, spray a chicken blood to his door and tell him that an evil spirit is trying to break you apart.

Be an animal activist: When he orders food with meat, sob vigorously and ask him to pray with you the souls of the animals that were slaughtered. Tell him that you don’t eat food with shadows. Give him the pictures of your farm friends—recalling all their names and birthdates and ask him to name the 30 chicks, 17 piglets and 25 ducks you currently have back home.

Be a Control Freak: Make a daily time records of his schedule---from the time he pee, brush, shave and up to the last detail of wiping his ass. Appoint a specific time when to call you [every 15 minutes] and prepare a 50 year plan of your marriage, covering the period when you will have your children to their own weddings to the baptisms of your grandchildren. List the names of the group of people you are going to be friends with—deleting the names of his time-tested friends.

Be a Goth: Wear only black. Black gowns, black nails, dark make-ups…you name it! Be a tortured poet—making Shakespeare, Kant and Emerson as your life’s hero. Always talk about death and the insignificance of your life. Nothingness is your virtue. Every time he cracks a smile, cry nonstop and tell him that world is coming to an end so there is no need to be happy.

Pretend to have ESP: When you two are together, admit to him that you can actually see dead people. Make up a story about a dead girl visiting you at night crying for justice. Tell him that a female spirit is following him everywhere and a headless guy is making his doorsteps his sanctuary. Pretend to have a seizure—and don’t forget to chew an alka-seltzer to add vomit like foam to your mouth.

Be self-centered: Be an open book and tell him all about your thoughts and ideas even how hackneyed they are. Be the center of the universe as you unceasingly talk about how dirty and smelly your feet are or whatever yucky topic you can think of. Every time you talk, always start with “I” and constantly shush him when he attempt to butt in saying you’re not yet finish and when you give him permission to talk, segue the topic over and over focusing it to your related experience.

Playing the STD card: Tell him to buy a fungal cream and when he ask, tell him that you are currently under medication for a sexually transmitted disease that is yet to be named. Pretend to recount how many sexual partners you had and show him pictures of horribly-looking men with whom you had relationships with. Don’t forget to ask him to accompany you to have your latest blood transfusion for your disease.

Well ladies, if the above mentioned remedies will not make your man run wild, then perhaps customize to the method that suits you best. Let the creative juices flow!

10 If's

2006-07-14T01:10:00.000+08:00

If I will be the President of this country, the first thing I will do is to sip a good cup of coffee [harharhar] Naah! Given the power and influence, I will first identify the reason of poverty and lay out a concrete plan to minimize its effect within my term. I will also spearhead the development of micro business to facilitate more jobs…and yeah! Totally abolish cigarette manufacturing and importing. VOTE FOR ME in 2030 Yey!

If I can turn back time and visit a prominent person, I would love to have a good conversation with Dr.Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor who coined this timeless wisdom, “The last of human liberties is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances.” Absolutely endearing aint it!

If I am a famous Hollywood actor, I would like to be Brad Pitt. Dang! No need to elaborate on that one hehehe! Angelina here I come baby!

If I am a book, I would like to be the book that comforts when I’m badly needed and a source of joy when the blues come knockin’ at the door…like the book KAMASUTRA heheh…kiddin of course, any book of John Maxwell will do.

If I can spend a day to a city of my choice, Paris tops my list. There is something with that darn Eiffel tower that drags me to look at it and be amazed. Maybe it has something to do with its structure of beams and lights--living my kiddy fantasy of climbing that tall monkey bar in our park.

If I could spend my whole life watching the sunset, I will do it in a heartbeat. Sunset reminds me that the day’s problems are only fleeting --that no tomorrow cannot solve. How lovely to absorb the beauty of hues and colors being blended by the hands of God.

If I am a superhero, I would like to be Professor X—minus being lame of course. He has the humble demeanor of a true X-Man but alongside with it carries the kickass power of his thoughts. When I was a kid, I tried in vain concentrating with the power of my mind that I can move an object…but my concentration only led me to abdominal cramps with the occasional farting.

If I am a woman’s lingerie, I would be brassiere, yep a bra! Why, any question? I am a man for crying out loud! Do I need to say more?

If I am a dog, I would like to be a golden retriever. A bulldog is plain butt ugly, a pit-bull looks like a male genitalia, a poodle is for sissy and a Saint Bernard is simply dumb looking. Why a goldy? Well, that dog is calm looking and has a smiley eyes. For a companion, a retriever is not too small and yet not too big-just the right size.

If I could turn the hands of time and be a kid again, boy! Would I? Playing an adult is not that thrilling anymore. Sometimes, it is just so stressing and I’m sick of trying too hard to project that I can handle problems single-handedly. I would love to cry “Mommy!” again knowing that mom will be there to bail me out. I wish I still have that innocent mind of weaving my own simple dreams [even if it will not happen], that naive understanding that life will turn out for the best[even if it’s not] and that inexperienced heart in accepting that people are basically good [even if it’s contradictory]

Well, these are my “what ifs”. What’s yours?

WoW Philippines

2006-07-11T05:15:00.000+08:00

Despite the fact that I’m quite serious with my life [as you may well notice with my posts], I do have the occasional crazy thoughts that accompany me by.

I was just thinking just now on how to uplift the tourism industry in this country. Well, to you readers out there, Philippines is a very beautiful country [and I cannot emphasize that more] but we do have the occasional bad rep outside our shores.

You name it, we have it [I hope my fellow Filipino will not hate me for this]:

Terrorism- yet thank Heavens this is still under control

Corruption- do not start with me with this issue and I will just gag with contempt

Natural disaster- Mother Nature simply hates us

Prostitution and drugs – hmmm all countries have that problem

Pollution- we breath smog in the city

Poverty- ‘nuff said

Well, as a frustrated advertiser, I was pondering recently that instead of trying so hard to quick fix these problems stated above, why not add a little bit of humor to our advertising strategy in enticing our tourist. So here it goes:

Welcome to the Philippines

World of Wonders

If you are a thrill seeker looking for an exotic all-time adventure, try Philippines.

Fool around with the terrorist as you climb towering mountains to protect dear life. It's a cat and mouse chase that will leave your breathless.

Discover how long the red tape really is and you will be amazed playing our number one game called BUREAUCRACY.

Landslides, Typhoons, Floods, Volcanic Eruptions, Malarial Diseases and many more. It’s a disaster theme park all rolled into one.

A total Adrenaline Rush!

Get off the couch and experience life to its fullest.

It’s a roller coaster ride of FUN and FEAR

What are you waiting for; contact your nearest travel agency NOW!

So what do you think? Angry comments are welcome * gulp!*

On Holocaust

2006-07-10T05:38:00.000+08:00

Many have denied this atrocity ever existed but one thing remains true, six million Jews were killed on this dark era.

I have a special interest browsing online the faded photos of the concentration camps on Auschwitz; photographs that immortalized the forlorn faces of children, women and man. The silent witness that vividly captured their deep suffering which can only be described as sheer agony.

That era will always be remembered as one of the lowest points in our history, where human dignity was forgotten and where killing was just but a random musing.

I cannot help but to imagine myself being placed on that time, when all my rights as a human being were forcefully stripped away from me...when I was just but a number. My individuality and my life were of no value and my fate was being held by the whims of the selected few.

This I cannot understand: Why do men have the tendency to inflict pain and suffering? Why do we have that instinctive characteristic—that burning, sadistic desire to wreak havoc to someone else?

On hindsight, Holocaust is being played over and over again. Just look over the news from the Middle East to Africa to Asia. Myriad are being displaced and killed brought about by the clashes of power and beliefs.

And now, the nuclear threat of North Korea made me wonder if we are repeating a yet another history of violence. I’m afraid that an open page is already prepared to be filled again by chronicles of bloodshed caused by another World War.

I can only hope that we remember and not forget what our nations went through.

To be always grateful to live out our inalienable rights.

…to carry out our freedom of expression

… to observe our own beliefs and religion

… to live a life from fear and objection

Lest, time will nudge us to look back what we have lost.

On Relationship

2006-07-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

One of my closest female pal just broke up with her boyfriend recently and she was deeply devastated in seeing the three years they spent together flushed down the drain.

I’m no expert on relationship but based on my observation, the following are the main causes of break up:

*Third Party: Let’s face it; guys are very visual and sensual. We are easily distracted by beautiful and flirty women. Primordial pulses always make its way to the thingee between our legs and before you know it…you know what I mean.

Though, morally speaking, sex is very sacred, a normal guy pretty knows that sometimes, it’s just a release of carnal feelings. Guys can totally separate love and lust, unlike women [I presume].

A given opportunity, even within the bounds of valid relationship, can transform a decent man into Patrolman Jerk. This natural characteristic, however, is not a means to an end and finding a guy who can control such urges, should an opportunity arise, is pretty hard to find these days and ladies, should you find one…keep him for good!

*Emotional Dependence: It’s a fact; women are far more emotional than men [but if he is a cry baby… hmmm, you need to evaluate his actions, you might discover you’re on the same wavelength and his hair needs a highlight as well]

Anyhow, being too emotionally attached to your partner is a definite no no! Do not make your partner as your sole reservoir of happiness, your exclusive well of personal fulfillment and your solitary pillar of strength.

I’m not saying that these feelings of attachment are wrong, however, we must always consider that like us, they are human as well, who, at one time or another, crumbles and fall between personal battles.

To the ladies, most men are not the knight in the shining armor. You need to discover your own strength. By finding your own self first, you need not look for affirmation or validation that you are worthy…because YOU ARE.

*Unfounded Love: The first stages of courting are the most sensual part. We can literally see rainbows and butterflies and the fourth of July being played over and over again, and to tell you honestly, I look forward to this particular stage. It’s fun and the adrenaline rush is at an all time high.

But when the feelings are dwindling down *poof* we hop to another relationship trying to figure out how to replay that familiar sensation over…and over again. Well, for crying out loud, it’s only in Hollywood that the courting stage never stops. In the real world, relationships evolved and true love keeps abreast to changes.

I have heard before [and I believe it is true] that in finding good relationship, do not go for the looks because physical attributes fade as time passes by. When physicality sheds off, what is left is the true self…and if he or she is numbnuts or a tool to begin with, then you are wasting your time to someone who is not worthy of your affection.

In retrospect, this is my cardinal virtue:

Do not enter into a serious romantic relationship if you are still searching for your own self. Your partner cannot make you whole and neither can you. Being emotionally balance will help you to overcome the roller coaster ride. Finding happiness or fulfillment based solely on what your partner can give will only leave you empty handed and heartbroken.

Repost: Of Dusty Memories and Recollections

2006-07-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

This is a repost . This article made its way to our company newsletter. Truth is, this contains my sentiment this week. I’m loosing grip to those people whom I consider friends.

******

I observed that as I wind myself to maturity the more I feel all alone. Of course I got friends around but it’s not the same anymore. Life now becomes so serious…we are all geared in maintaining and reaching our career goal.

I remember a couple of years ago when my peers and I will just hangout with one of our friend’s house doing absolutely nothing but were contented with just being together.

I remember the time we tread along the grassy clearing in the nearby farm just to watch the sun set or having our vocal chords strained with the midnight karaoke. We indeed shared so many memories together and it seemed endless at that time.

But what I missed most was the carefree freedom of weaving our dreams together and of trying to figure out what lies ahead. With our youthful idealism, we thought of conquering the world without leaving our footprints behind.

People and events do change and as much as we don’t want to loose contact with each other, well, it is bound to happen.

With all the new technology right now like the cellphone or the internet, it’s funny to note that we rarely drop by and say Hi anymore. Maybe because we don’t know where to pick up the friendship we left…or was there something left to pick up anyway.

Or maybe because we are too busy focusing on ourselves and fail to recognize that we are traveling alone…and loving it.

I admit that I for one am guilty as charged as I let myself drift from them. I found new acquaintances along my personal trek. A handful of whom I am very thankful because they are really good people…but many were just passing glances, foggy memories and faceless characters.

Now, I tend to withdraw from new acquaintances; I just cannot afford to create new friendship anymore which I know cannot survive from the intricacies of the daily grind. Thus, I become aloof and cold.

If only I could look back when time stood still and stars are as bright as I remembered them. When dreams can be seen at the horizon and where laughter and cheers filled the dusk with great colors.

But now all I hear is a resounding echo from a distant past bouncing within the walls of my memory. The cheers died down and the songs faded.

I know I moved on…

Random Thoughts

2006-07-07T03:01:00.000+08:00

The loneliest place in the world for me is when I am being surrounded by a faceless crowd.

Even how hard I hold on to my closest friends, time will tell that I will loose my grip to them. Sad but true!
I have the tendency to fall in love as fast as a jet propulsion and to fall out off love… in the same manner. (Maybe it’s not love at all hehehe)
I am an optimist by heart. I know that good things are yet to come and trying times are only temporary.
When I watch the local news, I cannot help but to voice out my thoughts, cursing and whining about the idiosyncrasies of the present system.
Spiderman is much more real to me than Superman.
Though I love a good conversation, sometimes, all I need is someone that could sit beside me without talking.
When I was a teenager, I thought I hold on to all the answers I need—how wrong am I. Now that I am an adult, I crave for that confidence of knowing an answer.
Rock and Roll is a pile of crap…and yeah, a two-tone rap music is a sign of dementia.
I discovered that even how insanely stupid you are, you can be a candy magnet if you wear trendy clothes. Gucci, here I come!
Most of the good looking people I met have the vocabulary of a nine year old.
A world war will be a great equalizer. I would love to see how rich people will hunt for their own food hehe!
I tried not to smile showing my teeth. I always thought that only chimpanzees do that.
Blogger rules…Myspace sucks

On Sex

2006-07-04T02:58:00.000+08:00

Population explosion in this country is becoming one of the fundamental issues. With the Church banning the use of contraceptives, time will tell where this problem will lead .

Correct me if I’m wrong but I have heard that people sometimes copulate because of the sheer act of pleasuring each other…was it true? Hmmmm...Then if that is the case, many people are having sex simply for the fun of it rather than exemplifying the act of procreation. BINGO!

As much as we don’t want to admit it, abstinence cannot be practiced by the whole damn population because many [youths for that matter] with raging hormones simply don’t want to put up with it and wherever available holes that their wangers can be inserted on…shoot, there it goes.

Time has changed, as you may well notice, and being stranded on the era where Maria is still a virgin and Pedro is still a gentleman will not do us any good [I’m not generalizing of course and I will tell you in a minute.]

Fact is, which I can vouch, sex nowadays is a dime a dozen. Many of my buddies were ostracized in their college years because they were still a virgin. Peer pressure, teen rebellion, you name it, youth experiments and will shove their curiosities till they have it. Disappointing as it may seem but that’s the real world where we are now and being on denial with this issue will leave us a bad taste afterwards.

The government together with the parents must make it a priority to educate the kids on their formative years about sex. Tell them as it is without the sugary coating of butterflies and bees. Tell them the truth about STD’s and AIDS with pictures of gonorrhea or syphilis etc. By opening their eyes with the real issues, I am confident that they will become responsible adults. As with the part of the Church, well, it’s more of teaching its flock about the Bible based truth about purity and the greater satisfaction in knowing that true love can wait. Preachy aint I?

As stated above, I’m not viewing the public as a drone. Many are still practicing abstinence.

I’m one of them.

Truth is I am proud of being a virgin. It’s more of my inner principle and my faith that keeps me from doing the deed. I don’t want to sound self-righteous but not everyone has the tenacity to keep themselves away from temptations. It takes a lot of courage and determination to go against the flow of mainstream ideology…and I don’t give a damn to be with the flow anyway.

I believe that sex is a God-given gift to be enjoyed but must be done only within the perimeters of marriage. Should life be developed during that union, it must be cherished, intensified and nurtured.

Life is so fragile that the misuse of it by the giver will create an irreparable repercussion to its bearer.

To sum it up…not all fucktards [forgive the word] can be a parent. Not because you have an instrument to be used, you have the justification to use it as you please. Be responsible. For your own goodness, for your child’s goodness and for the goodness of everyone.

Critics are welcome to comment.

On Politics

2006-07-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

Political rallies, impeachment proceedings, blah blah blah!

Why can’t the elected government officials just do their friggin jobs and focus on the take off of our economy? I am not a political analyst [nor dream of becoming one] but what I have observed these days [or years for that matter] is the never ending bickering of those holier-than-thou, pure-as-snow, blemish-free government servants [and to think civil servant is an overstatement.]

Come on people, instead of jabbing your face in front of the TV for a mini scoop by shooting out vitriol to the current administration, why not start to fold the hem of your long sleeves and take a closer look at your own respective work—the supposed vocation you swear to do, remember?

I’m not saying otherwise to be blind, should any news of corruption erupt, but, can’t we do that in a more civilized manner like letting the judiciary branch of our government to deal with it instead of gathering our poor to protest in the street? Not only that it causes much discomfort to us [taxpayers who pay for you] but it does not in any way provide a long term solution.

Make a road map to the development of your constituents by mobilizing the workforce of each jobless Filipinos.

Just laying plans to minimize the effect of poverty will occupy your time, mind you. So instead of plotting a mindless charade to the government, why not start to actually “serve” the people.

Be proactive by being a part of the holistic process of economic change rather than making yourself a heavy baggage to be carried.

It’s a shame that we still consider our country as a Christian nation when the morals and ethics of our institutions are at an all time low.

…just thinking aloud!

Personality Test

2006-07-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

It took me half an hour to complete this inkblot test . It's fun though and I'm glad to know that even in my subconcious, I still yearn to have my balance--to know where I'm heading; to remember the place I came from; to believe that the best is yet to come.

Here is the result:

Jef, your subconscious mind is driven most by Peace

You are driven by a higher purpose than most people. You have a deeply-rooted desire to facilitate peacefulness in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with love ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to influence the world.

You are driven by a desire to encourage others to think about the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. The reason your unconscious is consumed by this might stem from an innate fear of war and turmoil. Thus, to avoid that uncomfortable place for you, your unconscious seeks out the peace in your environment.

Usually, the thing that underlies this unconscious drive is a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it. As a result, your personal integrity acts as a surrogate for your deeper drive toward peace and guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Peace, there is much more to who you are at your core.

*******
yeah! kinda egotistical hehe! but it was worth a shot.

on excellence

2006-07-01T01:10:00.000+08:00

“Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible.”

…nuff said

just a thought

2006-06-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

I watched Superman Returns last night and true to its claim, it was a definite eye popping experience.

The scene that stuck on my head was this scene:

Superman asked Lois to go with him. She hesitated a bit but was convinced to “fly” along in the process. They flew high above the city and all they could see was the tiny speck of lights from the bustling metropolis below them. Superman asked if she can hear anything and Lois said “no.” Then he uttered that even that far, he can hear people crying for help.

I liken this scene to my own wanting and vents…I know I’m being heard by the Almighty! Even how minuscule or insignificant my tirades may seem, all of these thoughts or bursting words passed to His ears. It’s a comfort to know that I’m being heard...and sometimes, that’s all I really need.

...to be heard!

As a Nickelback fan, I am impressed with their music videos especially with this one. In the Bible, it speaks about numbering our days and the concept of this music video is patterned to that divine insight. True, our life is just but a drop in the bucket and what we do to the entirety of our existence depends not on the amount of wealth we amass but on the number of lives we have touched or changed.

Like what they said, it’s not the number of years that counts most in life… it’s the life in those years that matter.

harsh judgment

2006-06-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

There’s an issue in this country right now about American GIs who supposedly raped a Filipina last November 2005. The case was still under process and the verdict, which I’m quite sure, will create a total media chaos.

At first, being a condemnatory retard that I am, I concluded that the victim was just creating an exposure or something. I have thought also that she was a prostitute and a woman of questionable character because why would a decent woman would let herself be in the company of five men—foreigner for that matter, in the wee hours of the night.

But based on the investigation, which an American GI whom she was a good friend with counteract the claims of his fellow GI’s that the victim willingly had a consensual sex with them, all the presumptions that I thought of her before was now gone. I believe in her credibility now that she was indeed raped and it made me a little bit ashamed to myself that I put a very harsh judgment on her character without weighing the evidence.

It’s not good that we, at some point, have become so jaded and tend to look beyond compassion. We made harsh judgment to other people without batting an eye, whether it’s just a simple rumor or plain gossip. Shameful indeed!

With regard to the media and the militant group covering the event, I just don’t understand why they put so much emphasis on this particular issue. Was it because it involves American soldiers and the attention that it will brew will cause an instant sympathy? What about those women who are constantly battling sexual abuses by their fathers or brothers or those who were being raped on daily basis? Why were not they represented by a competent court or given the necessary public exposure? Was it because they are just ordinary Filipinos that don’t cause the media to hyperventilate?

Why the double standard?

If they are really concerned about the holistic change…of stopping the sadistic treatment of women, then they should not look far enough because thousands are already suffering in front of their noses.

…just thinking aloud.

aspirations

2006-06-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

Why is it that the more we want something, the more it become elusive?

The more we pray that it will happen, the more we have to wait?

In Paolo Coelho’s book, The Alchemist, he speaks about conquering our deepest desires and he pondered that “the universe will conspire to make it happen.” He also pointed out that the deeper we want our dreams realized, the harder the trials we must face. Kind of like a test if we are worthy of that claim.

Those who had given up easily or those who withdrew the battle early on will suffer the most failure…

In retrospect, his writing may proved true. Those people who have gambled most of their lives in search for their dreams will ultimately reap the greatest triumph. They are those who went outside their comfort zones, suffered loneliness and personal battles and rise up to succeed.

Now then...what are you willing to give up just to materialize your dream?

snapshot

2006-06-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

My fondest moment was nestled in my memory when I was only seven years old. This particular scene always crossed my mind every time the feeling of exhaustion paid an unprecedented visit.

Being born and raised in the country (when the internet was still a concept and electric iron is a rich man’s vanity) what we used to iron our clothes was the conventional iron with the burning coal.

This was the scene:

It was past eight in the evening. I was safely tucked in my bed and my mom was a meter away ironing our clothes. The local radio station was on and the nightly radio drama was playing. My eyes are now heavy as I was observing my mom tweak the coal inside the iron and carefully wiping the sides of the iron with a banana leaf . I asked my mom an animated question and she just smiled. The smell from the burnt leaf was so soothing and I closed my eyes... satisfied.

I just don’t get the reason why this particular memory was stuck in my head for almost 17 years now. In my whole life, I never felt so secured and satisfied. If I can only contain that moment and relive it all over again, I will do it in a heartbeat.

Funny to think that my most treasured moment was not from those flashy experiences like finding my first job or my college graduation. It’s this insignificant parcel of a night when a mundane work and a normal sleeping pattern conspired to make a treasured snapshot of heaven.

Maybe heaven is like that… simple photographs of ordinary moments made to last.

…just thinking aloud

Random Thoughts

2006-06-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

I usually read the end part of any book before starting to read it from the start.
I prefer coffee than tea. Tea leaves a bad after taste
I don’t eat any poultry or fish which I saw living/moving a couple of hours before serving
I can’t sleep without brushing my teeth.
I never as in ever will buy boxer shorts. I prefer briefs. The purpose of that garment is to hold my thingee in one place. What’s the purpose if you are feeling something is dangling between your legs!
I can sleep with the lights on.
The soap that I use on my butt is the same soap I use on my face.
When I’m stressed or depressed, unlike many people that I know of, I have the tendency to starve myself because my appetite just isn’t working.
Every time someone is smoking beside me, I’m picturing myself strangling him in his throat.
I prefer cats than dogs. Cats are independent creatures which makes them more attractive than dogs.
I don’t like to be photographed…I’d rather be the person taking and tweaking the photos rather than the subject.
Loyalty is my utmost quality when finding friendship…or relationship for that matter.
I tend to watch how the mouth moves rather than focusing on the person’s whole face while he is talking.
I have low boredom threshold.

playing "extra"

2006-06-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

I have read that many great people before us like Einstein or Newton or Fleming had discovered their life’s purpose at an early age. They have come to tread the path that was given to them and they did it very well!

Well, philosophically speaking, if at this stage, I haven’t done anything significant to contribute to the overall goodness of the human tribe, then I might as well conclude that this is my purpose—to seat in front of the computer and work hehehe!

Kidding aside, does the Almighty only choose special people to do great things or great work? What about “us” who work behind the scene? Are we to conclude then that even how minute our contributions are, this is our life’s purpose?

Consider those big budgeted movies like Titanic or Ben-Hur where millions were cast to play the “extras”. They were all nameless and faceless characters –easily forgotten by the glittering names of the main cast of the movie.

As much I don’t want to, I think I’m just an extra to this life’s great movie.

And I’m not at all alone…

Myriad of people that I came across everyday though shielded by half-smiles and twinkling eyes, wear all the same faces of loneliness, apathy and exhaustion. All have personal battles to share and all have attempted to search for their real purpose.

I guess all of us have dreamt of becoming “big” someday. To cure the world’s illnesses or battle poverty, even composed a great song to be remembered for ages…I believe these dreams are not at all wrong because we know, with a little doze of naiveté, we can realized our visions and materialize our dreams.

Though I know and have surmised that perhaps all I am and all I will be is to play the smallest role… I am still taking the challenge and be the best “extra” this world has ever known. Who knows, that is the only part that was meant for me.

If I can gear my life the way it was meant to be ...then one life made a difference!

…just thinking aloud.

butthead

2006-06-19T12:06:00.000+08:00

I hate smoking and puffing one doesn’t make you cool!

I don’t judge the people who do and I know how much effort one will go through to kick the habit alone. But I always wonder how can a reasonable individual waste away a hefty sum of money to puff something that causes cancer and bad breath. I just don’t get the logic of it. It’s like taking a poison in a miniscule quantity everyday but each day accumulates into years and soon, you are coughing a green wad of phlegm and still wondering what’s wrong with your system.

Even if my father is a smoker, (because kids at early age will surmised that it’s OK to smoke) which he is not, thank God! I am still confident that I won’t puff my life away. Thousands of pamphlets and information alone and not to mention personal experiences will bind my hands from twirling a cigarette between my fingers.

Well, this is my logic to this habit: A cigarette in this country cost two pesos per stick. A regular guy will puff at least 5 per day (conservative approach). So, that is roughly 10 pesos per day multiply by 30 days. In a month that habit will cost you 300 pesos. In a year’s time, you will accumulate a pretty cool sum of 3600 pesos just for puffing away nicotine. Assuming you have that habit for 10 years…just imagine how much money you are throwing away. Well, in 10 years time, you might have forgotten that your lungs will have more craters than the moon and have wilted like a prune, and if heaven is merciful, you haven’t got a cancer yet. Now, consider how much money you are throwing for your medication…hmmmm!

I was pondering the other day how narrow minded this government stands with regard to cigarette smoking. Yes, I am pretty sure that they get a lot of excise taxes from tobacco companies but considering the amount of money they funnel to the Department of Health to treat tuberculosis and cigarette induced diseases. The benefits that they derive from these companies is a far cry from the cost they are incurring to combat the after effects of cigarette smoking.

Seems a stupid trade off (and I can’t emphasize that more)!

If I was or will be the President, I will totally tax these companies in a way that will pop their eyes off and the only way for them to remove the red numbers out from their ledgers is to stop their business.

...just thinking aloud!

Real Men...Real Dad's

2006-06-18T10:18:00.000+08:00

How can you write something to a person who basically shaped your life? Or how can a handful of words justify his importance?

Ever since my Dad had a stroke last year, I have come to accept that he is not the father I used to know. Greatly did the disease affect his speech and once a great conversationalist now became a passive listener. Once a very active man now confined to his own thoughts and his own world. Once a very patriarchal husband now relies on the guidance of his devoted wife.

The hardest part for every sons or daughters I believe is to witness their parents grow weaker every year. Aging is inevitable. Like every ones life, their season of fall is in the offing.

My Dad has shares of flaws and issues that could fill up a TIME magazine but each imperfections come an undeniable truth that he is the best father I could ask for. I may not be the man that I am now if not for his altruistic sacrifices and selfless love that he willingly poured out since I was a kid. He knows his single most priority, and I damn sure that it is us.

Because of him, I have come to know God. That He will always be my guidepost even if he is not around anymore.

Because of him, I realized that real strength lies within my heart not in my hands. That people will always disappoints me but my strength of character will always show each time I hit my lowest points.

Because of him, I know I’m being loved.

He embodied what a father must be like: Firm but gentle, strong but kind, a towering figure but a kneeling soul.

What I missed most was our lengthy conversations. He encouraged me to speak my thoughts out loud. We may have agreed to disagree but as the father that he is, he always reprimands when I’m getting out of line.

If I could only bring back the time when we talk about life in general, when he shared his thoughts to me, when he voiced out his frustrations … when he lead our morning prayers. But now, all I hear is a resounding silence from his lonely world. Weary eyes that want to convey his two cents but couldn’t…

If only... I would give all!

To you Dad, life couldn’t be more complete if it wasn’t you.

Everybody can be a father but not everybody can be a dad!

Happy Father’s Day!

Payday Millionaire

2006-06-16T16:54:00.000+08:00

Every payday (15^th and 30^th of each month) many people are seemingly occupying the greater space at the mall. I remember swerving my way through the sea of people on one of this particular days and I can’t help but to smile because majority were glowing. I know it’s justifiable to be jubilant. But many were not considering the value of thriftiness. They spend away their hard earned cash with accumulating and amassing the latest fashion trends and gadgets. Well I’m talking in generality of course. The funny thing is after the fine dining and endless shopping ceased, faces that were stuck with the smiley logo few days ago are slowly transforming into a worry wart…waiting in vain for the next 15 days.

I can only smile!

Ever since I’m earning, I tried to live my life as simple as possible. Of course I do the occasional shopping but I do it out of necessity or need not out of wants. I may have the latest brands on hand but if my financial condition is borderline broke then what’s the point? What matters is your net worth. I believe that everyone must live according to their means. If you are earning a beer salary, make it sure that you must not live a champagne lifestyle.

Well…just thinking aloud!