confused and diffused

These past few days had been one of those struggling moments that you wish you can just evaporate and cease to exist—figuratively of course.

1. It started when my batch mate all passed the CPA board this month and they were quite disappointed that I gave up easily. I was pondering this for a while and I was quite depressed that I haven’t got the “I will never QUIT” attitude and I let this goal slide within my fingers. Maybe they were right that I easily forego dreams that I worked hard before…sure, it didn’t go as I wanted it but I am nearing the triumph if I have the will to fight.
2. My current job is not exactly the way it was before. We all suffered because of the inefficiencies of the current management and we, the receiving end are being squeezed to justify their slipshod. The work I can tolerate but the people…hmmm, that is another story.
3. My prospect company is still on the hiring stage (I suppose) and the process of waiting if I will be considered left me a feeling of inadequacy.

Well, lots of things to rant about but I know deep down that there is something to look forward to. I’m just impatient to wait and too lazy to put pressure to myself and do better. I guess I’m growing up and still figuring out the real me.

Come to think of it, these problems are way down the bottom of the “problem ladder” in comparison to the insurmountable difficulties of other people. Case in point, the quake in my neighboring country Indonesia, from which it claimed 3000+ people to date.

In light of eternity, philosophically speaking, these material successes (finding the right job and having material security) are really speck of fog—miniscule and insignificant. I don’t think that the victims of Indonesia quake are thinking about climbing the corporate ladder or being bothered by petty details that most of us are focusing intently in our every day lives.

On the other hand, were still living in this world and being successful and having that material security is something to look forward to; this is the goal imprinted in our heads to continue pressing forward. If we are being contented with our current situation –the status quo, then we might overlook our potential and be complacent to be satisfied with the mediocre.

I don’t know…in reality, to be spiritually balanced in this imbalance world is a feat in itself.