Sunday, April 15, 2007

On Being Single

I ordered a chicken burger from the counter.

I paid.

I sat in the corner and ate in silence as I watch other people come and go. In my mind, I mused if there’s a good movie out right now...or a sale at a bookstore nearby. The gym is closed so that’s out of the picture…window shopping? Naah! what…go home again and read!


That’s a life of a single in a couple’s world. Not that I am complaining or anything but it has a downside sometimes.

A woman friend said to me once, “Why can’t many women chase good guys like you? Instead they settle in for a jerk and let their hearts bleed.”

I laughed when she said I am good guy. But she seems so serious that I have to answer.

“The reason is I am not looking…probably when I was in the crossroad with someone searching, I opted the road less traveled.” I said bluntly.

She seemed satisfied but still wants a clearer explanation for my being single.

“Well…I believe that building a relationship needs proper timing. I cannot give what I don’t have; I can’t complete her… and I am certain that I am no knight in shining armor. I really have to find myself first before tagging someone along…”

We walked in silence and departed ways after that.


In hindsight, I knew I am making the right decision for now. I am not closing any door or stomp any flicker of hope.

I maybe loss in the sea of faces or my life seemed so trivial (or funny) to some but being single in a couples world is not the end result of a careless plan but of a very deliberate and careful choice.

I have a life waiting to unfold…a blank canvass ready to be painted.

My adventure still awaits.


Blogger Linguist-in-Waiting said...


I have to agree. In addition, why would you want a relationship when you are satisfied the way things are right now? I am currently single. I am single because I am not looking. I am satisfied at my life at the moment. I can do what I want, I can go where I want to, and there are no other opinions that I need to consult before doing something. I am traveling to Ecuador this summer alone, and everything is done solo, no hassles. I do not see a void in my persona, so why would I try to fill a hole that doesn't exist in the first place?


9:54 AM  
Blogger tin-tin said...

relationships should not be taken as a joke coz you give your time and self. so you should really prepare for it and be sure that you're ready.

ako, hindi ko tlga kaya ang kumain mag-isa..

4:52 PM  
Anonymous karol said...

hello jef!!! kamusta na? :)
there's nothing wrong with being single! miss ko na nga ang maging single! haven't really been single for quite a time....and you're right that it's a deliberate choice...

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Lazarus said...

the right time will come. but it will again be a question, "when is the right time?".

What if the right time is now, and you choose to wait for someone else to come?

“Why can’t many women chase good guys like you? Instead they settle in for a jerk and let their hearts bleed.” A lady classmate also said the same thing to me back in college.

I just smiled and replied, "They can chase me if they want. I choose whom I want to love."

Nah, but you're alright, Jef. No need to hurry. God bless!

2:06 PM  
Blogger D.T. said...

And its good that your blank canvas is waiting to be painted, by that special someone. Maybe they'll use chocolate paint...LOL!

4:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know many married people who wish they were single. I know many single people who wish they were married. My friend Mike is glad he is single, and I am glad that I am married. I will pray that God will provide peace for your heart and yearning. You have a lot to offer the right lets pray for the right person.

2:59 AM  

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