Sunday, July 09, 2006

On Relationship

One of my closest female pal just broke up with her boyfriend recently and she was deeply devastated in seeing the three years they spent together flushed down the drain.

I’m no expert on relationship but based on my observation, the following are the main causes of break up:

*Third Party: Let’s face it; guys are very visual and sensual. We are easily distracted by beautiful and flirty women. Primordial pulses always make its way to the thingee between our legs and before you know it…you know what I mean.

    Though, morally speaking, sex is very sacred, a normal guy pretty knows that sometimes, it’s just a release of carnal feelings. Guys can totally separate love and lust, unlike women [I presume].

    A given opportunity, even within the bounds of valid relationship, can transform a decent man into Patrolman Jerk. This natural characteristic, however, is not a means to an end and finding a guy who can control such urges, should an opportunity arise, is pretty hard to find these days and ladies, should you find one…keep him for good!

    *Emotional Dependence: It’s a fact; women are far more emotional than men [but if he is a cry baby… hmmm, you need to evaluate his actions, you might discover you’re on the same wavelength and his hair needs a highlight as well]

      Anyhow, being too emotionally attached to your partner is a definite no no! Do not make your partner as your sole reservoir of happiness, your exclusive well of personal fulfillment and your solitary pillar of strength.

      I’m not saying that these feelings of attachment are wrong, however, we must always consider that like us, they are human as well, who, at one time or another, crumbles and fall between personal battles.

      To the ladies, most men are not the knight in the shining armor. You need to discover your own strength. By finding your own self first, you need not look for affirmation or validation that you are worthy…because YOU ARE.

      *Unfounded Love
      : The first stages of courting are the most sensual part. We can literally see rainbows and butterflies and the fourth of July being played over and over again, and to tell you honestly, I look forward to this particular stage. It’s fun and the adrenaline rush is at an all time high.

        But when the feelings are dwindling down *poof* we hop to another relationship trying to figure out how to replay that familiar sensation over…and over again. Well, for crying out loud, it’s only in Hollywood that the courting stage never stops. In the real world, relationships evolved and true love keeps abreast to changes.

        I have heard before [and I believe it is true] that in finding good relationship, do not go for the looks because physical attributes fade as time passes by. When physicality sheds off, what is left is the true self…and if he or she is numbnuts or a tool to begin with, then you are wasting your time to someone who is not worthy of your affection.

        In retrospect, this is my cardinal virtue:

        Do not enter into a serious romantic relationship if you are still searching for your own self. Your partner cannot make you whole and neither can you. Being emotionally balance will help you to overcome the roller coaster ride. Finding happiness or fulfillment based solely on what your partner can give will only leave you empty handed and heartbroken.


        Blogger j said...

        do you have a girlfriend Jef? judging from this post, it seems that you are an expert in relationships ;)

        2:18 AM  
        Blogger jef said...

        I did...but I'm following my "own" rule for now. I'm still trying to find myself. I know when I'm ready again.

        2:29 AM  
        Blogger vic said...

        There is no such thing as exclusivity nowadays. If there is, it is very rare. So when you go into a relationship this should be taken into consideration and be dealt preferably before it happens.

        6:08 AM  
        Blogger gone said...

        I agree most women dont know the difrence between love and sex. Sex is just like going to the gym (well kinda lol) but love is intimacy and your whole self joining in with someone.

        I have a saying *hanging on people* i cant bear to hang on people and i dont like people hanging on me either. Thas what you emotional dependance makes me think of. Both people need to have a life and not hang on each other to join in theirs.

        Intresting read Jef!

        7:27 AM  
        Blogger Roxanne said...

        I love your cardinal rule. Now if everyone would follow it, we wouldn't have so many divorces and empty, heartbroken people out there!

        9:40 AM  
        Blogger jef said...

        Sir Vic: Yes, I would put that in mind. But I'm still a hopeless romantic that believes on exclusivity.

        Hanni: You are right, both people have a life of their own that should be fortified individually.

        Roxanne: I certainly hope so. It's so sad that the kids are suffering out of the misconducts of their parents nowadays.

        8:48 PM  
        Anonymous Anonymous said...

        quite similar with your cardinal virtue is an article i read years back. i might post it in my blog in the future should i manage to secure myself a copy. it says that we should learn first to be contented with the perfect love God gives before we seek love from an imperfect being. for if we are not satisfied in perfection how much more will it be in imperfection.

        10:24 AM  
        Blogger cruise said...

        ganyang-gayan yung sa friend ko, sila nga 6 years na kaya sobrang devastated yung girl.

        3:54 PM  
        Blogger vic said...

        jef, nice of you to address me sir, but I feel like sir elton john being address so. No, not his lifestyle but it just that a "yes" for us is a generic address and we use only to someone (male) we can't recognized by his given name. Maybe someday, by the grace of her Majesty the Queen I may be knighted the Lord of the Philippines Sir vic of Iloilo he he he.. That is because Canada has nothing to do with making one of her citizen above the other. The only way for a Canadian to get a British title is to renounce his/her Citizenship..ask Sir Conrad Black, now he wants it back, so he can serve his sentence in Canada, because the U.S is going to try him for Fraud. no way Sir Conrad.. now you are English. Either US or British Jail..

        8:46 PM  
        Blogger jef said...

        Ymir: Quite interesting. I would love to read a copy of that via your blog.

        Cruise: Thanks for droppin by. Nakakahinayang nga ang mga napuputol na relasyon eh.

        Sir Vic: I'm addressing you "sir" out of respect because as far as I know, you are a great mentor and needed to be addressed as such.

        10:19 PM  
        Anonymous Anonymous said...

        Keep up the good work
        » » »

        2:23 PM  
        Anonymous Anonymous said...

        What a great site
        » » »

        10:14 AM  

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