Crazy Thoughts

• Fart is alright, we all do this one time or another and it is just but a natural body function. Darn those gassy foods! What if your date cannot control his/her sphincter and let out a moist, atomic size, decibel crashing fart? What would you do?

Oohh! Baby, let me try that also…***prooooft*** It smells like curry, aint it? Oops, I thought it was just a fart—uh oh!

• Oral hygiene must at all time be given much attention and a woman, even how extremely good looking she is needs to be at least 300 meters away from me as I will be getting a restraining order from a judge. I can’t concentrate talking to her because I will be counting my oxygen intake and not to mention trying to avoid my murderous thoughts of flooding her with mouth wash. What I detest more is that sometimes, people with halitosis tends to laugh so hard as to spew many bacteria-infested spit on my face…eeeewww!

• I don’t know but used sanitary napkins make me go ballistic, irking my body with so much ickiness that I can literally taste my own barf. Excuse me ladies, I know this is a normal process and I completely understand it…but you know what, not many of you are that hygienic and most of the time, some just throw this away to let a scavenging dog (or cat) claim this treasured prize back home. What I hate most is when this thingee will be thrown in a trash bin on a public toilet. My initial thought--Is this alive? It looks like it's moving. Yek!

• Have you ever had that roommate in college (or now) that gagged profusely every time he gargles or take a brush? That person that empties his esophagus by inducing a tuberculosis-like cough and later on produces a big wad of green phlegm. He strategically do this when you are eating noodles or sunny side up eggs! Forgive my thoughts, but all I can think of during this time is to whack him in the head and throw the soup at him hehe!

• The reason “All Spice”, “Axe” or “Rexona” are thriving so well is because…well, a portion of the population just have a problem letting go of their Cro-Magnon scent. The last time I checked, body sprays are used after showers—not a substitute for taking a daily shower. But No! Many people, men specifically, just dab cologne and off they go. Brushing their way to a crowded place like a train station, bus terminals and yeah, small, cramped office cubicles.

Remember this equation: Sweat + cologne = foul stench.

• Eye crust can sometimes be so distracting. It’s really hard to have an eye contact when the person you are talking to have a large plank on one of his eyes. That yellowy thing that’s getting bigger and bigger as time passes by. The hardest part is to let him know about it:

Ummm! You know…Aahhh, there is something…eermmm---

You get what I mean!

Okay ‘Nuff said…just thinking aloud!