Friday, August 11, 2006

Crazy Thoughts

  • Fart is alright, we all do this one time or another and it is just but a natural body function. Darn those gassy foods! What if your date cannot control his/her sphincter and let out a moist, atomic size, decibel crashing fart? What would you do?

Oohh! Baby, let me try that also…***prooooft*** It smells like curry, aint it? Oops, I thought it was just a fart—uh oh!

  • Oral hygiene must at all time be given much attention and a woman, even how extremely good looking she is needs to be at least 300 meters away from me as I will be getting a restraining order from a judge. I can’t concentrate talking to her because I will be counting my oxygen intake and not to mention trying to avoid my murderous thoughts of flooding her with mouth wash. What I detest more is that sometimes, people with halitosis tends to laugh so hard as to spew many bacteria-infested spit on my face…eeeewww!

  • I don’t know but used sanitary napkins make me go ballistic, irking my body with so much ickiness that I can literally taste my own barf. Excuse me ladies, I know this is a normal process and I completely understand it…but you know what, not many of you are that hygienic and most of the time, some just throw this away to let a scavenging dog (or cat) claim this treasured prize back home. What I hate most is when this thingee will be thrown in a trash bin on a public toilet. My initial thought--Is this alive? It looks like it's moving. Yek!

  • Have you ever had that roommate in college (or now) that gagged profusely every time he gargles or take a brush? That person that empties his esophagus by inducing a tuberculosis-like cough and later on produces a big wad of green phlegm. He strategically do this when you are eating noodles or sunny side up eggs! Forgive my thoughts, but all I can think of during this time is to whack him in the head and throw the soup at him hehe!

  • The reason “All Spice”, “Axe” or “Rexona” are thriving so well is because…well, a portion of the population just have a problem letting go of their Cro-Magnon scent. The last time I checked, body sprays are used after showers—not a substitute for taking a daily shower. But No! Many people, men specifically, just dab cologne and off they go. Brushing their way to a crowded place like a train station, bus terminals and yeah, small, cramped office cubicles.

Remember this equation: Sweat + cologne = foul stench.

  • Eye crust can sometimes be so distracting. It’s really hard to have an eye contact when the person you are talking to have a large plank on one of his eyes. That yellowy thing that’s getting bigger and bigger as time passes by. The hardest part is to let him know about it:

Ummm! You know…Aahhh, there is something…eermmm---

You get what I mean!

Okay ‘Nuff said…just thinking aloud!

19 Comments:

Blogger tin-tin said...

honestly, are you okay? you seem so mad. and you just made a litany of gross things. are you okay? or is your mood still has something to do with your previous post?

1:01 AM  
Anonymous carey said...

Tin-tin... that's him in his usual normal mode. ;)
Jef, you know what, it's embarrassing for me to see a used napkin (of course!) being thrown around...
i remember in H.S., the guys discovered such thing and started playing with it, ugh... they were laughing and throwing it to the other guys... kakahiya.

1:25 AM  
Blogger jef said...

Tin Tin: hahaha, Carey is right! I'm just in my 'normal' mode. Forgive the grossness of this entry :-)

1:34 AM  
Blogger don said...

wait'l ya get married. hahaha these things will become "music to your ears"

2:13 AM  
Blogger Jinjiruks said...

haha.. me mas titindi paba dyan sa tots mo.. eh paano mga diaper at napkin na dinadala ng aso kahit saan..

2:23 AM  
Blogger vic said...

jef,

Here's one experienced that I can't forget and told a lot of friends about it. Two years or so ago, I was on medication for Hyper Acidity and Acid reflux and it really clean up your acid, but boy, you can't just help but disposed it thru the rear. One day, I was in a crowded subway and just got to let it go. And the poor lady beside me keep snipping her winter coat collar, thinking it might need some real Dry Cleaning. little by little I had to move away.

2:48 AM  
Blogger jef said...

Don: I don't think soo! I will file for a divorce that is. Kiddin hehehe!

Jin: Diaper is simply gross...mas kadiri pa ito kesa sa bingagit ko. I had a dog before that simply loves diaper and I hate the one cleaning after it...eek!

Sir Vic: That story is super funny LOL! Thanks for sharin.

3:58 AM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Eye boogers are the worse.

8:00 AM  
Blogger cruise said...

fart, bad breath, monthly period, eyewash, atbp --- normal naman sa karamihan. siguro nasa may katawan nalang kung paano nila pangangalagaan ang sarili nila para di sila iwasan :)

8:27 AM  
Blogger j said...

these are crazy crazy thoughts! ;)

9:30 AM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Eeewwww! And double eeww. Personally, I try to wrap my "napkin" so tightly in toilet paper so noone will recognize it (hoping that some poor shmuck doesn't come along and use it for a baseball). Hacking up phlegm is also nasty. Finding it on the sidewalk is even worse.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Sayote Queen said...

totally gross but totally amusing entry hehehe :)

6:36 PM  
Anonymous snglguy said...

If a woman in front of me farts, I'd fart back. And see who'll last the longest without fainting...

7:32 PM  
Blogger jef said...

Buffy: Thanks for droppin' by

Cruise: uh-huh! Tama ka, it's how an individual observe cleanliness that counts.

Jairam: heheh! Not that crazy naman eh!

Roxanne: "...hoping that some poor shmuck doesn't come along and use it for a baseball"--DOUBLE YUCK on that one hehe!

Sayote Queen: Thanks...I guess hehe!

Snglguy: Call me when you do that OK! I would love to be a witness to a farting contest.

9:09 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

i always tell ppl discreetly if they have sleep in their eyes...i figure i would want to know!

12:50 AM  
Blogger Linguist-in-Waiting said...

Crazy thoughts indeed. So crazy yet so true.

12:59 AM  
Blogger Ymir said...

crazy thoughts indeed! ;)

i dont like seeing used sanitary napkins either.

2:26 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

My mom taught me to wrap my "feminine products" in toilet paper. I remember being at a friend's house several years ago and seeing a used on in the garbage. Even that grossed me out.

6:18 AM  
Blogger jef said...

Bearette: I can count in my fingers the time I told people about their eye boogers...and it's scary!

Linguist-In-Waiting: Hahaha! Not that crazy! I'm still brewing in my mind my craziest thought yet!

Ymir: Glad we're men hehe!

Suzy: It's really gross isn't if these 'feminie products' were not disposed properly

8:50 PM  

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