Friday, January 27, 2006

10 Pet Peeves I love to hate.

10. Loud mouthed hag who thinks she’s all that
~Oh, they are everywhere; from bus stations to train stations even work stations. They are like a contamination that is sooo hard to contain. They are boisterous and overbearing… always chatting as if we want to hear their insipid and overly ridiculous stories. They are just alive because it is unlawful to shoot them.

9. Pinoy Novelty Songs (Pamela One, Ocho Ocho…aaargh)
~I mean, c’mon, tell me a medically fit and clinically sane Filipino who would find it irresistible to stream these songs, not to be rude to those who are patriotic to Mother Philippines , but I find this particular genre as a lame excuse for not having enough creative juices to make a REALLY decent song. I call them ear worms and I mostly hate it as a last song syndrome. Hang me now!!!

8. Pinoy Gag/Commedy Shows
~Unlike the American standard of having it as a 30 minute slot, i.e Friends or Will& Grace, Pinoy gag shows could last for about an hour and a half; a real waste of quality TV hour and not to mention electricity. The actors weren’t good; they are an absolute personification of stupidity raised to the nth time. Even if I will tickle myself to laugh…I just COULDN’T. The lines or should I say “joke” used were so lame to the extent that I will literally poke my eyes to respond. Often wondering if I just couldn’t grasp the joke or they were so banal that no amount of face twitching could etch a smile on my face. The producers of these gags, no pun intended, should be in jail: for having a microscopic sense of humor.

7. Slow people
~Wait, let me explain, slow means sluggish not mentally dull, those good-for-nothing populace who are such a slow poke, as if given all the time in the world. They can disguise as your cab driver, waiters, bus drivers, or even co-workers. They are strategically located when you are rushing to go somewhere or beating up a deadline. Such slothness deserves a major kick in the butt.

6. Pop-up windows
~Oh! Do I just hate pop up windows, those advertising trick that popup every time you surf the net. Its sooo irritating and a complete waste of bandwidth. They disrupt your naive screen by an offer to make your dick humongous (I’m cool with that *wink*), free cursors, Viagra, porn links, screensavers, etc. aaahhhhhh!, which by the way are all void of any practicality. The minds behind all these crappiness must be a total chump for attention. They should all be punished as a living dart board’s hehe!

7. Fish Guy
~These are random dudes whom you will meet one time or another, maybe, at a supermarket, a bus ride home, or someone sitting or standing beside you while your are waiting for a so-so. Why do I call them “fish guy”….hmmm because they literally smell like a stinking fish! I don’t mean to be so anatomically rude but lets face it people, it would be a total meltdown if someone within the perimeter of your nasal cavity decided to have a major fight with Mr. Good Hygiene. I am putting my foot down when I say that we have a responsibility of looking or even smelling A-OK when we go out and interact with the peeps.

6. Big Mouth Joe
-~Ahh! The typical Joe Almighty, a boring fellow who thinks that the earth revolves around him and has managed to create his own orbit and gravitational force and whose words are so holy that it sounds so horrendously true but devoid of any sensitivity and gist. They should all be named “Narciso” for being such a darn narcissists.

5. MRT during Rush Hour

~ Do I need to elaborate more? If you want to feel how it feels like to be in a can of sardines literally, then join me during Monday’s at the MRT Station. Ooh! The smell of morning sweats sooo sweet hehe!

4. Wandering hands
~Just the thought of this one makes me cringe. I’m not a homophobe but I have come to hate the “wandering hands” of those pinoy beauticians (I’m in no way generalizing) who had finally perfected the map and detours around and within the male anatomy while giving you a haircut. It does feel like you were being harassed and yet too polite to even raised your anxiety. Makes me wonder sometimes if it is the same feeling as well when ladies are being taken advantage of by a straight pervert.

3. Irritating Texter
~The classic insecure individual who was given the liberty of time to pest the other end of the line and magically transformed their cellphones as a permanent extension of their thumbs. Texting (SMS Messaging) in this country is so popular that it goes to the point of becoming a National Past Time. Too much liberty, though, is not good because they were given the opportunity to pass tongue-swaging, mind freezing, utterly bland forwarded messages. They should see a shrink to probe the meaning of their existence.

2. Philippine Politicians
~These bunch of people (I think I’m giving them too much credit)…what I mean is, these bunch of mongrels are the root cause why this beloved country is in deep shit. They are much worse than any major calamity this country had withstood and what is so poignant is that they intend to stay for good…aaargh! The nerve of these pinoy sub humans. They all should be shipped out away from this country to a deserted Island infested with their own kin—sharks, snakes and crocs. What a gathering it would be?

And finally…drum roll please!!!

1. Butt Head
~All the time number one, top of the list major irritation is SMOKING. I hate it period. I don’t need to elaborate this much, but guys, if you want to have a cancer break, do it at your own risk. Go build your own country of smokers if you want but leave us with still “virginal” lungs to reach at least 40 years. And yeah! That mental connotation that smoking is cool is a total Bull Shit.


Blogger Iskoo said...

nakakaaliw sana yung bubble gang, pero din silang mga di nakakatuwang patawa, siguro nga masyadong mahaba, nauubusan sila ng quality na joke. gusto ko sa bubble gang kapag ini-spoof nila yung mga tv commercial at mtv(S)

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! »

6:55 PM  

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